Devil's Paradise

5: Merlin & Delilah: Life Goes On

Six months after D-day, Tony asked me to walk over to the Eton building with him. It was a remarkably warm day. It was almost the summer solstice, and the temperature was well above freezing. Everywhere I looked, there were people outside, getting sun. I must have seen a dozen couples kissing.

There was a pervasive smell of death in the air, everywhere you went. It wasn't enough to make you gag, but you couldn't get away from it. You got used to it, but there was this little voice in the back of your head all the time, saying, You are in the house of the Reaper, and you are next.

That did nothing to stifle the frantic urge to reproduce that had followed all the deaths.

We even saw what must have been a wedding procession. A young man and woman were riding on a two-wheeled cart, a dozen friends laughing and joking and pulling the cart. They were probably on their way to one of the churches down the street. The bride looked like she was about eight months along, riding proudly with her belly uncovered in the cool air. Life goes on.

I felt my eyes stinging, and had to stop, as my body shook.

"What is it, Louis?" Tony had his hand on my shoulder.

"Why does life have to go on, Tony? Why couldn't I have died, instead of them?" I remembered how beautiful Alicia had looked when her belly was full of a growing Martin—although we both would have been horrified at the thought of getting married with her that pregnant. Times had changed.

"Son, I have asked myself that exact question, more times than I can count. The only answer I've ever found is that there is a reason, but you have to find it yourself. You can't help them, but there is someone out there you can help. You owe it to Alicia and Martin to live the life they would have wanted to you live."

I wasn't ready to hear that, but it made sense. I took another deep breath and started walking again. Tony continued beside me in silence. I wondered what there could be that would be worth living for, in this hell the world had become.

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