3. The End: Damnation

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I was nearly down the stairs when I realized my presentation had been rescheduled for the day after tomorrow, so I didn't have to hurry. At first, I was delighted, as it meant Alicia could come, after all. But then my heart sank, as I realized I had really hurt her for the very first time in our relationship, over nothing. Stupid. Tony was right.

I went into the lab, and switched on my computer. "Good morning, Merlin."

"Good morning, boss. Did you sleep well?" The sound came out of my computer, but Merlin's case was sitting on the bench behind me.

"No," I yawned. "How's the Internet project coming?"

"It is up to date as of two hours ago, but since then, more has been posted than I can download."

"You'll get there."

"Louis, I do not think so. There will always be new material posted. I am as 'there' as ever I will be. Although it is difficult when certain employees turn their computers off at the end of the day. It makes it much more difficult to use their resources."

I chuckled and shook my head. I had been shutting off my own computer ever since I learned that Merlin was using my machine for storage and processing. I didn't want him messing with the programming on the machine I had used to create him, and might use to update him, once he inevitably crashed. I had not restricted him from using other computers, though, and most of the desktops and servers in the company were now being used by Merlin all night, every night, not only to download every Internet update he could find, but to process the apparently random information for associative links. He had been doing that for a solid month, now.

"I wish I could see you, boss."

"Oh. Sorry about that." I uncapped the video cam on my monitor and switched it on, before opening up a florist site to order flowers for that afternoon. It wouldn't be enough, but Alicia would get them shortly before I would get home. It also didn't ease the pain in my stomach, but I knew it was the first step to take. I hope she forgives me.

"The board postponed their meeting to Wednesday," I said as I finished the order.

"Does that have anything to do with the impending IS attack?"

I shook my head, frowning at the screen. The order had timed out. "Merlin, that is just speculation based on—"

"Boss, I have lost connection with parts of the Internet."

I stared at the "Please Wait" screen for a few more seconds, before my sleep-deprived brain realized what he was saying. As cold breath blew upon my neck, I said, "What parts of the Internet?"

"I cannot locate anything in Europe, or south of—more are going down, now. Louis, I have not tested everything, but it appears I now have local connections to Frederick, but that is all."

I tried hitting a news feed, but got only a blank page. I got to my feet. "Merlin, what is happening?"

"I do not know, boss, but a widespread nuclear attack is the most likely scenario."

"Can you shut yourself down?"

"I do not think so. I have not been shut down for well over a month. If I shut down, I will very likely lose everything I have gained."

"Right. Well, hang on and pray, then."

"Boss, I have hundreds of thousands of prayers stored, but I do not know how to pray."

The floor shook, briefly.

"Wait here," I said.

As I ran out the door, I heard Merlin's voice saying, "I will wait here, boss."

Just at the top of the stairs, the rest of the building was piling into the stairwell.

"Get back downstairs, Louis," said Tony, as everyone ran past us.

When I saw his expression and heard his tone, I felt the color drain from my face. "What's happened?"

Tony was grim. "In the last few minutes, at least two hundred nuclear detonations have taken place all across western civilization."

"Alicia!" I said, my heart suddenly racing. I started to leap through the doorway, but Tony blocked me.

"Whoa, Louis. Was Alicia home today?"

"Yes, with the baby."

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes! I have our only car, and she would be asleep." There was no way she would take Martin out in that cold. I fought rising panic. "Tony, what are you telling me?"

He took a deep breath. "One more question. You live across from the National Institutes of Health, right?"

"Yeah, right across from the main campus. Tony, tell me!"

Tony held my arm with a strong hand and spoke gently. "Then I'm sorry, my friend, but you can't help her. From what I heard before the reception got too bad, one of those detonations was in Bethesda, smack on top of N.I.H."

I sank to my knees in the stairwell. My world was gone. Millions of people might be dying, all over the world. But all I could see was Alicia, exhausted, doing all she could, my child at her breast, looking at me with tear-streaked, wounded eyes. The last words she ever heard from me were cruel and untrue, and I had slammed the door on whatever she had tried to say in return. And I could never take it back.

I looked up at Tony, and saw pain there that had to mirror my own frozen heart. He, at least, understood. With sudden clarity, I realized that some of the lines of pain in the old man's face I myself would own, should I live long enough. I wondered if living that long would be good or bad.

Either way, I had no hope of redemption.

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