Demons Don't Like Hospitals

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Dipper peered outside his door to find his mother and a nurse talking to each other. He zipped back to his bed and waited. A few minutes later they both came back, surprised he was awake.

"Dipper, are you feeling alright?" His mother said as she trembled.

"Um... Yeah I think so." He replied. The nurse checked his temperature, his heartbeat and breathing. It all seemed fine by her expression.

"Thank you Dipper for being cooperative, it really does help people like us. Is there anything you want to drink?"

He told her that all he wanted was water, and she left the room to get some. All he was left with was his mother.

"Dipper what on Earth happened? Mabel said that there was some sort of demon and Pacifica said you blacked out! I don't know who to believe anymore!"

"I don't know what happened either to be honest, I can barely remember it... Wait, where's dad?"

"He went out on a business trip, I'm sorry dear. Don't worry, I know he's terrified of what has happened." She said reassuringly. Dipper wasn't so sure of that. Even though he went to his graduation, it sometimes felt that he only cares about his future jobs because of more profit. Dipper shook it off. 'I should be happy that I'm alive.' He told himself.

Bill.

He rolled his eyes, and of course his mother was confused.

"What's wrong, dippy?" She asked while trembling again.

"Oh, nothing. Just thinking about the show that's all." After he spoke the nurse came in and brought him his water. She told his mother that he needed some rest and she left him all alone, in the empty hospital room. He sighed and laid all the way back on his bed.

Knock.

Knock.

Knock knock?

KNOCK.

KNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK

Dipper hopped out of bed to find the demon sitting on the windowsill. He could see him mouth "HI." Too passionately. Dipper waved for him to come in and Bill opened the window and hopped in.

"So Pinetree, how's your life? Pretty good? Bad?"

"Well it was going good before you showed up- wait. Pinetree?" He asked confused.

"Yeah? Pinetree- your backpack has the tree that has pines."

"Oh." Dipper said, looking at his backpack full of clothes from his mother.

"So. Ready to hunt some ghosts?" Bill asked, suave, while leaning against the bed. He winked.

Dipper scowled. "No. Definitely not. Who knows when we'll be ready to hunt them thanks to you." He said, grabbing his coat.

"You look so healthy though, I want to start the adventure!"

"No. I'm going to the cafeteria." He said flatly.

Bill followed as he left the room, mumbling to himself at all the bland decorations and complaining that there wasn't enough "yellow" or "black." Dipper rolled his eyes again and went to get his lunch. He got a sandwich, and a bag of sun chips. AKA, some dumb hospital food. Bill sat across from him, trying to talk, but Dipper ignored everything he said.

'I swear he's just like a giant puppy.'

'At least puppies are cute. Wait wait?'

He ignored his thoughts and listened to Bill asking for a chip, and he did.

Bill took a bite of it, and immediately spit it out, showing his tongue. "Holy shit! I fucking hate food holy shit! This is why demons shouldn't go to hospitals... Next thing you know someone is going to say 'bless you' when I sneeze." Bill mumbled, glaring at an old lady across the room.

'Omfg.' Dipper thought.

Ayyy I updated yayyyy boy I like this chapter. COMEDY. Well I'll write sooner or later, thanks for reading tho. It's loved here it's loved

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