Shut Up and Talk

Chapter 23

A forest played host to the race in Hungary, far from civilisation and a logistical nightmare for IRF planners. The long commutes forced some team members to reside in their garages, setting up cots and other makeshift beds. We were staying in a tiny hotel that lacked hospitality. Europe's hotels rarely resembled those of her sisters in North America. A perfect example happened that first evening when I asked for ice and it was handed to me in a clear plastic bag. After thoroughly cleaning the glass given to me by the woman at the front desk with dish soap that I'd brought from my apartment – I never left home without it – I poured my warm bottled water followed by a few ice cubes. I didn't notice the floating white particles until I'd finished half the glass. Upon further examination, I deduced that they were coming from the ice. I convinced myself that night that I'd die of botulism, salmonella and E. coli.

The atmosphere of solitude and of my impending death gave me more time to think about what happened in Spain. I searched my mind for explanations about Ian's sudden change in behaviour. Did he hate Ben so much that he took it out on me? Ben had been gone two weeks so why the continued hostility? I paced my hotel room for what seemed like hours until it hit me. He found out about Ben. In some horrible scenario he'd heard about it. I raced down the hall to Paul's room and knocked furiously on the door.

"What's wrong?" Paul asked in panic. Lately everything seemed to give him a scare. The stress of the job had caught up with him. He loathed the telephone calls from Ian, sponsors and team representatives. He despised the way the media maligned his brother but because Ian gave them so much material, it wasn't very difficult. Unlike me, I didn't take everything so personally. To deal with the stress I suggested Paul take yoga classes which elicited this rude response.

"I'll take skydiving and ballroom dancing next!"

Geez, I'd only tried to help.

I walked into his hotel room feeling a need to reassure him. "Nothing's wrong. But I did want to ask you something."

"All right then," he said, relieved.

"Did Ian mention anything about me and Ben?"

"About the two of you sleeping together?"

Oh no! And he said it so casually! "No, no, no! How many people has he told?"

"Don't think he told anyone else."

"Why didn't either of you mention it to me?"

"Forgot that you had sex with Ben?"

Sadly he wasn't trying to be funny. When Ian made jokes about things like that they were amusing. When Paul did it, it felt almost malicious.

"How did he find out?"

"After deciding not to screw those lovely ladies, he went to kill some time with you. Need I say more?"

"Is this why he's mad at me?"

"Maybe. Don't really know."

I shook my head and massaged my temples. "For starters, I didn't sleep with Ben. Sure, we kissed, I invited him to my room, but I stopped it before it got too far. I'm guessing Ian didn't stick around to see Ben leave a few minutes later."

"Obviously not."

"I should go talk to him."

"I wouldn't. Heidi just got in."

Heidi? He'd invited her! Confused and annoyed, I went back to my room. To make matters worse, I was going to be thirty on Friday and I'd have to spend it with the German Giraffe around. It was my birthday and Ian was going to get laid.