The Reason Why (Harmione)

Chapter 6

Harry sat with his mouth agape, stunned into silence. "Y-you... You what?"

Hermione was just as uncomfortable as he was - if not more - all thought it seemed like she was on the wrong side of the situation for being uncomfortable. What have I done? She looked away from him. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"You damn well should be!" Harry shouted, jumping up from the bed, suddenly angry.

"Harry, please-"

"No, Hermione, I don't want to hear it!" he shouted, cutting her off. Couldn't you see how happy I was with Ginny? I was finally at peace, but you just had to go an ruin it!"

"Oh, come off it!" Hermione shouted back, jumping off the bed herself. "You know you wouldn't have left me alone until I told you!"

"Well I'm sorry for caring!" Harry yelled. "I suppose in the future I won't worry that my best friend hasn't been sleeping for the past three months!"

"You asked me what was wrong, so I told you!"

"You should have made something up! You're supposed to be the logical one, Hermione, you should have known that this would screw everything up!"

"Fine!" Hermione retorted, tears springing to her eyes. "Then pretend like I never said anything! Don't let your best friend ruin your perfect life!"

In response, Harry stormed out, slamming the door behind him. Hermione sighed and threw herself on to her bed, knowing that she had another sleepless night ahead of her.

                               ~ooo~

Harry lied on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He was just beginning to process what had just happened. He knew he had snapped at Hermione - and the regret hadn't quite begun to sink in yet - but the reason why was only just beginning to register.

Hermione is in love with me.

This ruined everything. Now that he was with Ginny, he thought that he was over Hermione for good. But somehow, this information dug up those old feelings and he began to wonder if he had ever really been over her at all. So what if I wasn't? I thought I was, and I was happy thinking I was. Now I know, and now everything is different.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He knew this shouldn't change a thing. The regret was starting to set in. He shouldn't have snapped at Hermione. All she had done was tell the truth, and he had asked her to. It was his own fault for lying to himself for so long. The thought hadn't bothered him in years, yet here it was again; I should have told her.

But it was too late now. Even if she did feel the same, things were different now. He was with Ginny. He was with Ginny. So he decided then that'd he'd pretend it didn't happen. He would pretend that everything was normal, and maybe eventually it would be.

                              ~ooo~

Hermione was sitting on her bed, staring at her lap and realizing what she'd done. She shouldn't have told him she'd explain. This was the reason she put logic before emotions. But she didn't blame herself completely; Harry had asked her, so she told him.

And just as it had all those times before, the same thought came back to her. I should have told him. Well, now she had. Check that off my to-do list.

Judging by the way Harry reacted, he didn't feel the same way about her. Although it wouldn't have mattered if he did. It was too late. She knew it couldn't happen now.

The only positive thought Hermione could form was that at least she wouldn't have to go through life not knowing. She knew his response could have been different in another life, but she pushed it to the back of her mind. She curled up into a ball and repeated the thought to herself. I don't have to go through life not knowing. She refused to think about how uncomfortable the next day would be, or how she could ever face Harry again or convince Ginny that everything was fine. She used that one thought to put herself to sleep.

I don't have to go through life not knowing.