Healing His Solitude - Aizen Sousuke Love Story

Chapter 25 - Truth Unraveled

Shiori pov:

I didn't move from my place on the floor. I still had my head between my knees, my eyes shut. I was trying to calm down and force myself to repent for what I was about to do.

Its not that I felt it was wrong. There's nothing wrong in expressing yourself if you like someone. In fact, it was only right to express yourself to convey the feeling you had not only to the person in question but also to show other people your honest feelings for someone.

But in this case, it wasn't really a good idea. Aizen san most likely considered me as nothing but a tool just like he did with his Arrancar and two shinigami comrades. I don't know if I could even call them comrades to begin with. They were just tools too....Aizen san didn't need anyone.

I did say that I thought he was lonely. I did say that the look in his eyes proved that he was lonely. His bitter laugh as he explained his past showed that he was lonely. I wanted to help him come out of that lonely shell but if he saw me as nothing more than a tool and didn't trust me, how could I help him?

Love? Did I love Aizen san?

Love was a rather deep commitment. I couldn't say like because it was more than just 'liking' to be around Aizen san. Not anymore at least.

Before it was, 'I should be careful around these people', 'I should do a good job so they don't hurt me' and 'Everyone besides some of the Espada seem nice'.

But now it was, 'I hope Aizen san will like what I cook', 'His hair is so soft, I want to touch it', 'I want him to look into my eyes', 'I like it when he talks and treats me so gently' and finally, 'His lips, that small playful smile on his lips seemed so tempting'.

If it were just liking to be around someone, I wouldn't be having thoughts like this, would I?

I lifted my head from my knees to look at the emptiness in front of me. I gave a soft sigh feeling burdened by my feelings for Aizen san. Should I just tell him? I could wake him up and say that I had something important to talk about. I could start out by talking about the visions and then say that I had begun to like him.

....

No, that most likely wouldn't work. I won't be able to tell him. With the negative assumptions I was having, there was no way I could tell him. The words wouldn't leave my mouth if I was standing in front of him and had to cofess when he had that untrusting restless look as he watched me.

"Huh? What's this b**** doing here?" I looked up to the side to find Loly and Menoly scorning down at me. I gave another sigh and stood up, mentally groaning as to why they had such bad timing in meeting me. they hated me and they sure didn't try to hide it.

"Can't I sit in the middle of the hallway to think?" I muttered out. I received a glare in return and I shut my eyes bracing myself as Loly lifted a fisted hand.

"Loly, we can't do that! Aizen sama warned us, remember?" Menoly said and when I opened my eyes, I flinched back seeing Loly's trembling fist just millimeters from my face.

"I know!! Stupid b****! If Aizen sama hadn't seen us bullying her that day, we wouldn't have had to feel his anger! And we still could have killed this b**** before she got her hands on him! And now he calls her more often than necessary! Ugh, I hate this b****." Loly cursed under her breath. I let out a breath in relief when she pulled her hand away fully.

From the way she said it, it looked like Aizen san hadn't told them that I was the one who complained and asked him to do something about it. My brow twitched as I thought of what would have happened to me if they knew the truth. I didn't want to dwell on that too much.