If I could...
If I could I would rewind the last 3. 5 years of my life... but why stop there? Why not rewind to back when I lived in Georgia?
If I could I would go back almost 10 years and convince my younger self to not beg my mom to go outside with me that day, I would tell myself not to try and make everything a competition. I would make sure that my mom never fell and tore her ACL. In fact if it would make her healthy I would make sure she was never in a situation where she could end up where she was now.
If I could I would ask her to partake in yoga with me, I would ask her to help me stretch daily so that I didn't have the possibility of getting hurt and ending up like her in the future.
Even if I wasn't able to stop her from getting hurt, I would go back to make sure I lectured myself and my sisters about how crucial it will be to treat our parents right, that we shouldn't lie or be disrespectful.
If I could I would go back and travel with myself as we moved to Illinois, I would be my own best friend as I was having a hard time transitioning to the new area. I would be there for myself even when no one else was, I would have gotten help sooner and convinced myself to open up to others. I would remind myself that the problems that I was going through in elementary school would equal almost nothing in the future, and that I didn't need to dwell on every mistake I made.
If I could I would help myself break out of my shell, I would show myself who the people were that would build myself up, and I'd show myself those who would tear me down, I'd tell myself to never get involved with them and show myself a better way of living.
If I could I would go back and get counseling and hope that it would help me open up, instead of lying and shutting down.
If I could I would go back and be my own best friend, I would be the person that younger me craved to have around. I would show myself a better way of living. I would show my younger self that I wasn't alone, and that even though I thought I was always alone, I wasn't. I just had to let those who wanted to help me into my life, and actually explain what I was feeling, and how they could help.
If I could I would go back and live my life happily, I wouldn't run from competition, I would build a better me, a me that would be someone that I could be proud of.
If I could do all of that, I would, I would hope that when I got to where I am now in that life, that I would be happy and surrounded by those I love.
