I Do It For Avory

Chapter Seven: I Just Wanted To Know...

A/N: I just want to take the time to say thank you to everyone who's fanned me and voted. I have another story called Four Of A Kind and I want to just let everyone know that you're doing a great job at supporting me.

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This made it the third time I cried this week. And it was only my first week here! But, this time, it was reasonable. All Ethan did was ask if he could do what he was already doing and I refused. I mean, The times mom went to go buy diapers, it was when I was in desperate need for them and it was with Ethan's money. Think about it: if Ethan didn't give mom money Avory would have had either a terrible diaper rash or he would have been walking around in cloth diapers! And then there were times when mom used Ethan's money to go buy Avory food. I was being a bitch and refused to let him back in when he did all that for us!

When I was sitting there, crying in my car, I lost track of time. It was going on eight o'clock and the sky was darkening. Cars were leaving the parking lot, leaving me alone. Yeah, I know someone could come up and try to steal my car but, for one, I had a metal bat behind my seat and, two, I didn't want to go home. If I did, I have to face Avory's little blue eyes and feel like I betrayed him. I told him everyday that I was doing what was best for him but, because he couldn't speak, he couldn't tell me I wasn't and I probably made his life miserable. And-

My phone rang, disrupting my thoughts. It made me just because I had been sitting in silence for over two hours. The only sound I could hear was the sound of my own sniffling.

I quickly wiped my eyes and cleared my throat. When I checked the number, I didn't recognize it but I knew it was a bill colllector. Mom probably got a new cell-phone, I thouht. "Hello?" I personally thought I sounded pretty normal. I sounded as if I was happy about my new job, which I was. I just wasn't concerned about it at the moment.

"Why aren't you at home?" At first, I was suprised. Why was he calling me and how did he know that I was here? I began to rotate in my seat, to see if he was out there. Apparently, he heard me shuffling. "I'm not outside, Sophia. Mike called me." Uncle Mike?

"How did he get your number," I asked. I really didn't remember whether Uncle Mike and Ethan met before. We didn't really date long enough for him to meet my family. Then again, I ended up pregnant and my mom adores him. "Why does it matter, anyway?" Last time I checked, we weren't a couple and he shouldn't be worrying about me. What did it matter to him if I was out so late? But I sighed, and gave up. I shouldn't give him attitude, right? I mean, I was the one to blame and if he was worried about me, he was just being a human being. "I can't go home."

"Why," he sounded skeptical, as if I was overrexagerating. "Lost your key or something?" You know, the way this guy acted made it hard to believe that he cried. I couldnever picture him crying. "Just go to Mike's then." It sounded as if he didn't want to talk to me. I couldn't blame him because I sounded as if I didn't want to talk to him yesterday. He probably thought that I wasn't going to let him see Avory because I couldn't bring myself to trust him. Let me tell you, I have a whole different perspective of him now. Excpet the "Don't talk to Brian" thing is still a bit fuzzy. "I'm trying to make this fast, okay?"

"Then don't," I cried. I admit it, I was still in love with him and the whole reason why I didn't let him get close was because I didn't want him to up and leave. Hell, I still can't admit it to him or display affection with him because I'm afraid he'll leave me. If I keep him at a distance, I feel like he'd want to get closer and never leave. All those times I cried when it came to him wasn't because I was mad, it was because I knew he'd never stay with me. It was all because of Avory. "I don't want you to."

He sighed, impatient, and mumbled something to someone. "Where are you, Sophia?"

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When Ethan came, I was a mess. I had ran my hand through my hair several times and my eyes were bloodshot. I had kicked my shoes off and hugged my knees to my chest. My head was against the steering wheel, little tears sliding down my nose. I really didn't know how to address that I was sorry. I mean, I was a bitch to him ever since I came here and I feel like he knows I wished he was dead when he wasn't around. But I didn't mean it. I just needed a reason.

When I decided that the steering wheel was hurting my head, I leaned against the door. Unfortunately, for some reason, Ethan hadn't seen that and quickly opened the door. "Oh shit," I muttered as I fell to the ground, at his feet.

"Oh god," he took be by the arm and pulled me up. It was so dark out that I hadn't seen just how close we were. We were basically nose to nose so I quickly turned around to get back into the car. "Were you crying?"

Like Uncle Mike, Ethan can detect a lie. Probably because he was the master at lying. But, whenever I lied to him, he'd always know and question me to high heaven. Even after what we went through, he still seemed to question me. "Just thinking about stuff."

"I'll drive," he pushed me out of the way. "Thinking about what."

I shrugged, trying to stay casual, "You." He watched me, with shock on his face, round the car and get into the passenger side. When I was in, I watched im drop into the car and start the engine. He looked... awkward which I don't really blame him. I just told him that I was thinking of him which made me cry. "It's not your fault though." We made eye contact, shock was replaced with confusion. "It's mine."

"Why now," he asked. "Why the change of heart."

I thought about this for a moment. Why did I have a change of heart? Because I realized he didn't ditch me completely? No, I know the reason. "Because, sometimes, mother's don't know best and they have to apologize for that." I pursed my lips. "I'm sorry."

"It's... ok?" He looked from the road and at me for a split second. "So does that mean you don't hate me?" I laughed at the question because he had no idea. But I wasn't going to tell him, you know? I didn't want to say, "Hey, I still love you" because we broke up two years ago. The only thing we have in common is Avory which is why this whole conversation was happening in the first place. And because I was taking so long to answer, he looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"I never did," I admitted. "I just needed a reason to not love you." My bottom lip began to quiver and my eyes filled with tears again. I was so going to look like shit tomorrow. "I didn't want to love you anymore because you obviously didn't love me."

"Sophia-"

"No," I cut him short. "It's my turn to talk. I thought about all of the things I would say to you when you came and I'm going to say it." I took a deep breath. "I was scared. I was afraid of rejection and I still am. I'm afraid that you'll get close to Avory and I then leave again. Turn here." He turned to the left, onto the drive that would turn into my neighborhood.

"I won't do that," he promised.

"But because I've already experienced it, I'm afraid it'll happen again. I mean, you probably wouldn't do that but I don't know any better. Well, that is until I found out that you've had visits with Avory." He froze. "But that's good though! He needs a guy in his life." I paused, no longer crying, i guess it was a spur of the moment thing. "Can I ask you something?"

"Go for it," he hesitated at first.

"Do you love Avory?" I already knew the answer to that. But this was supposed to soften the blow for te next question.

"You know I do, Sophia." He sounded offended. As if I thought he hated Avory's guts.

I looked at him, serious. "Do you love me?"

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Well, there wasn't a lot of crying cuz the one with a whole buch of crying got erased and I didn't save >.> Anyway, I hoped you like the ending cuz I dnt know what Ima put for the answer yet.

There are probably lots of errors 'cause I sorta rushed through this...