Towers [BOOK ONE]

Chapter Forty-Six

I retched. The world was spinning. My throat burned. No. Jasper appeared behind me, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tightly. I couldn't hold back the sobs. No.

Emmy's face was a sad mask. She looked betrayed. Betrayed by me? My eyes stung. I cried. No..., I realized slowly, painfully, betrayed by her murderer.

Whoever he was, she hadn't believed he would kill her.

A blind rage filled me. I introduced her to Jasper.

He was a wizard. He understood magic.

He understood forbidden magic.

He didn't do it, I thought, practically shouting at myself, but I couldn't quell the flood of rage that had crashed into me.

I tore away from him. "Don't touch me." I ran, stumbling, weeping. He didn't follow.

It wasn't him. It wasn't him.

But it couldn't have been anyone else.

Emmy.

~~~

I didn't know where to go, so I went to the library. It was quiet. Safe. And Jasper wasn't welcome there.

I dried my tears as I stepped inside. "Ash?" I called in a wobbly voice. "A-Are you here?"

"Bird?" I heard the creaking of his crutch. "Hold on, I'm coming."

He soon rounded a bookshelf. His brow creased when he spotted me. "You've been crying!"

I sniffed. "I—I just want to stay here. Is that okay? Can I stay here for a little while?"

Concerned, he nodded, coming over to me. "Yeah. Yeah, that's fine."

We sat and just talked quietly for a while. It wasn't long before the tears returned. I tried to hold them back, but it was useless.

I told him how she died. About the magician, and the assassinations, and the eyeless bodies. He put his arm around me, and I wept.

"Shh, shh," he murmured. "You'll be okay. Everything will be okay."

I let the tears flow. I'm safe, I thought. I closed my eyes, taking a slow, deep breath. I'm safe here.

Jasper never tried to contact me. I was glad. I didn't want to hear his voice, didn't want to have him in my head. It couldn't have been him, but it couldn't have been anyone else either. I didn't care to know anymore.

I pushed away the beautiful memories of flight. They had gone bitter. I didn't want them. I sat with Ash and listened to his calm, soothing voice, and thoughts of Jasper burned away.

Ash ran his fingers through my hair, comforting me. Everything about him made sense. He wasn't a mystery, he wasn't a puzzle; he was just Ash. My bookbinder. My solace.

I'm safe.

We buried her three days later, under a white-blossoming tree, just outside the city. The whole sky wrapped around us, as blue as her eyes. I cried for the last time. Farewell, whispered each tear that slid down my face. Farewell.

~~~

She was laughing. "I'm soaked, Bird," she said. "I'm sure to turn into an icicle by the time we reach the top."

I pulled off my coat and slipped it onto her. "Here, I don't need mine."

She walked—danced. Her blue eyes were the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. Blue eyes. Emmy.

I tossed and turned. Dreams stung me like vipers. But my sleep was so deep, so dark, and I couldn't break free.

"My mother always told me to be brave," Emmy told me. "I think she knew that this would happen eventually. Ages come and go, and the world never stops changing. But some things are simply there. So, maybe...maybe she always knew, deep down. Maybe she knew I'd need my courage.

"It's nice here. The North is better. But it's still nice."

She never made it home. Now she never will. My fault? She was following me, trusting me. I was the reason she left home, I was the reason she died. My fault.

"She will die," Annie said. "She will die." Emmy appeared beside her, smiling eerily, her eyes replaced by dark, gaping sockets. I was screaming. "She will die," they said together. "I will die."

My own horrified screams wrenched me from my slumber. I gasped, tangled in the blankets. The room glowed softly. It was nearly dawn.

I left. The room was alive with fear, and it was suffocating me. I couldn't stay there. I walked until I came to a balcony, and I leaned against the railing and gazed out.
The sun was rising.

A cold wind blew my hair back, and I watched the morning blossom with dry eyes. Emmy was out there, somewhere, invisible, untouchable. Safe.

Everything was silent. My heart still wept for the loss of her sweet, innocent laugh...the loss of her blue, blue eyes.
But she was safe now. I had begun to move on.