Emotionally torn.

A break.

It was a day before Amanda's birthday. She was excited, but something changed her persona. She knew that when a specific song played things went south. When the song played Amanda grew nervous because she didn't want anything to go wrong, especially if it were to affect her birthday. However, she had to sit back because it was up to fate to give her something she would be grateful for or something she would deeply regret. 

Her day was average, nothing out of the ordinary. Typical family problems, her mother was constantly yelling and her siblings were always acting up. Then, as every other time her siblings messed up, Amanda would get blamed for it, and she took it.

Later that evening, Amanda contemplated a choice. She wanted her freedom, she missed being single and available on the market. She also realized how controlling, manipulating and how much Anthony negatively affected her. She knew that back when she was surrounded by toxic people, she wasn't the same. She pushed away all the toxic people and now she knows she is doing just fine without them. Amanda was severely attached to Anthony and he was her first love.

This was very difficult to execute because when she called him in attempt to end it he tried to prevent her from doing it by reminding her what would happen between them in the future, and what they could be and the things that they could have. Amanda was crying her eyes out, Megan was by her side the whole time, trying to comfort her between the times Amanda would hang up on Anthony trying to end the painful relationship. It was hard on Amanda because she was pushing away someone who once meant the world to her, but now they no longer do. Anthony would call back several times begging her not to leave and to let them talk about it, but Amanda didn't want to talk. She wanted her choices to be made upon impulse, because they were better that way. After about an hour and a half of crying, black tears and finally cleaning off her smeared mascara, Megan cheered Amanda up a little bit and said that she would do her hair to get her mind of things. Amanda graciously accepted because there was a special place in Amanda's heart for beauty and playing with hair or make up for a while eased her. In the process of Amanda and Megan prepping the bathroom for tons of hair bleach, their brother comes rushing into the bathroom to inform them that Anthony is there and that he told him that they were sleeping. Amanda and Megan rush to the bedroom and pretend to sleep. Anthony enters the bedroom and hands Amanda a stuffed elephant, he kisses her apologizes and then abruptly leaves. Amanda turns over and begins to cry again. She didn't want this, she never wanted it to be like this. About 20 minutes later he calls and continues to beg her not to go. Amanda tries to make things a little easier for her so she comments rudely on the elephant he gave her. "Thanks for the elephant, but no thank you." He is hurt by what she says because he is quiet for a minute. She finally proposes a break to end the conversation. He was very baffled by the idea of a break, because he didn't really know what it meant. She had to explain to him that a break means you can either not talk at all or talk, but not talk like you are a thing; because you aren't anymore. 

The next day was Amanda's birthday. She attempted to put all of yesterday's conflict and feelings aside by dressing up all nice and overall slaying. Amanda was enjoying her birthday by looking good, and thats all she wanted. At around 3pm he calls her trying to talk to her explaining that his grandmother died and he has nobody else to talk to. He gave her a sob story, making her feel slightly guilty, just like every other time; she gave in. There was no longer a break, but it did seem as if more of the feelings she had towards Anthony had disintegrated. She experienced a day that made her feel good to the point where she didn't need anyone anymore.