broken promises » j.fallon

ten

» chloe «

I wasn't ready to see him again. It was less than 24 hours ago that I told him we were done. I couldn't bring myself to sleep a wink last night. Not even the endless shots could get me to drift off. I didn't understand why this hurt me so much. Now, I'm going to go to his parents house and pretend to be his girlfriend. It was mortifying. It was stupid. I don't know how he's going to act when I see him. I don't even know how I'm going to. I sigh and throw on my shoes.

"You sure you want to do this, C?" Skylar asks.

"No." I state flatly.

"Then why are you?"

"I don't know...I promised him and I like to keep me word. I'll be fine, it'll only be a few hours."

My phone buzzes in my pocket.

Jimmy: I'm here.

Of course I had second thoughts. The idea of pretending to be his girlfriend was a bad idea in the first place. And now, on top of that, jimmy and I were going to be on bad terms. I was more than sure he wasn't happy with my decision. He wasn't in control for once and I know he hated it.

"See you later, Sky." I say closing the door behind me.

I stand in the elevator, gripping the railing until my knuckles turn white. No matter how much I try to prepare myself I know the sight of him will get to me. I wasn't completely careless when it came to him. His feelings mattered. The doors open and I want to turn around. He'll be waiting in his car right outside the door. I keep walking though. And it only takes a brief second before I spot him sitting in his car, his head leaning against the window. I walk slowly because it's the only pace my legs can manage. I feel weak.

It hasn't even been a day without him. You can't go back.

His head shoots up as I open the door and I slip in without looking him in the eyes. I can already feel the awkward tension between us.

"Hey." I speak, not knowing what else to say. He doesn't answer though. He just shakes his head and pulls out of the parking lot. I knew that he'd be upset with me but I didn't think I'd be so hurt about it. I should be use to his cold side by now. I open my mouth to speak again but I know I'm better off keeping quiet. If he wants to speak to me than he will. I lean my head against the window and close my eyes.

"Why did you feel guilty?" He says finally breaking the silence. I'm shocked to hear his voice and I quickly sit up.

"What?"

"Yesterday. You said you felt guilty for kissing him. I want to know why." His voice is emotionless. I run my fingers through my hair, not really knowing how to respond. I didn't even know the answer to that question. Why did I feel guilty? I had no reason to.

"I don't know..." I say.

"And us? Why did you end it?"

I couldn't help but laugh. There were so many reasons why I ended it. So many good reasons. That question was so easy to answer it was laughable. "I told you yesterday."

"Okay." Is all he says. I expected him to snap or to say some snarky reply but he doesn't. He just stares blankly at the road.

***
I feel a hand shake me gently and I slowly sit up, completely forgetting where I am.

"We're here." I hear him say.

I rub my eyes, adjusting to the light before stepping outside. We stand before a seen size house. It screamed 'Family Home' with it welcome mat before the door and the large tree that sat behind the house. This was it. This was Jimmy's childhood home. I was about to meet his parents. I was nervous. I had every right to be. I was about to go in their home and lie to them. I wasn't Jimmy's girlfriend. I will never be.