The Letters

Ghost Stories

October 29, 2010

Dear Zoë and Carson,    

Two more days and it will be Halloween. The three of us will be dressed up as people from that one movie where the people get killed. Oh right, that’s pretty much every moive that we watch. Some might find it a bit odd that we love horror movies but there is something about the cheesy ways of death that make us laugh. Horror movies are our bonding time. I’ll never understand why other then the fact we laugh so much at all the blood that is lost when some dies in a untrue manor.

This Halloween is going top be super fun. I already have all of my costume ready for this Sunday night. Then after much trick-or-treating we are heading over to Natalie and Nathan’s party. I could do fine without Nathan but the party is still going to be a blast. The three of us will blow the others out of the water with our killer costumes. With you dressed up as Michael and Zoë dressed up as your sister and then I’ll follow dressed as her best friend everyone will tell us how cool we look. We have a theme going unlike most of the people who will show up. I’m pretty sure all the girls will be dressed as sluts. Sluts are nasty. Sometimes there just isn't enough for the imagine. 

This will be our last Halloween together, all three of us. I’ve been sitting here thinking about all the fun times we have shared together on this holiday. Some of the memoirs running as far back as to when Victor still lived here and we ran out of the house screaming. Some of the other one’s included us getting locked out of Carson's house for three hours or that one time when we walked along the train tracks and Zoë got stuck. I couldn’t help but laugh my butt off. Zoë threw some rocks at me until I went to help her, which took me at lest ten minutes because I was laughing so hard. 

I haven’t forgotten about you Carson. You’re the one that I got stuck with in the old bus by the high school. The two of us ditched Zoë because she was too busy with her gay boyfriend at the time to go walking about the school ground. You were dressed up as a zombie that year with blood running down your face and in your hair. I helped with your make-up. I was a princess with a big puffy pink dress and a huge blond wig. We came along the school bus and thought it would be fun to play in. The main door was locked so we climbed on top of the bus, with you helping me. Some how you got the top piece opened and we fell into the bus. After about an hour we got bored so we went to get out. Only problem was, I couldn’t get out. My dress was so big that it didn’t fit through the top of the bus. 

I ended up having the take the dress off. You were kind enough to give me the jacket you had been wearing as part of your costume. When we came back to the party that Zoe was at, everyone thought we did more then just "walk." So we let them thinking it by playing along with the rumors. The looks on every one's face was priceless. Even if I did lose my dress and got looks all night, it was still super fun. 

And lets not forget our first Halloween all together. It was a cold and stormy night…just kidding. It was cold but there wasn’t a rain cloud in the sky for miles. Carson and I just broke up but were super cool about it. You were single as well. My plan that night had been to hook you two up but every time I dropped hints about it you two acted dumb. We were trick-or-treating around my house because my mom was throwing a party for everyone later that night. When we got back I made you two play bobbing for apples with this dream that the two of you would come up and locks lips some how. But that didn’t happen. What happen was you two came up bumping heads and knocking out Carson. I kid you not, I laughed so hard I almost peed myself.  It took Carson almost a hour to wake up and by then Zoe and I had drew all over his face. It was a wonderful night.  

I’m going to miss getting into problems like that with you two. When I have passed on I will miss you two the most. I know I should miss my parents and I will but you two were my family also. Zoë more then Carson but, still my life would be dull without you two. 

I’ll miss the way our laughter made such beautiful melodies together. I’ll miss how we finish each other’s sentences. I’ll miss the study sessions we had where we ate junk food and quizzed each other on the subject. I’ll miss going to college with you guys. I’ll miss being there when you get married. I’ll miss not having the life with you guys that I should. 

Remember that I am not choosing for my life to end. Without hope and the willingness to fight I am doomed for this death. It’s a death that has been haunting me for awhile now. The demons inside of me are playing the game now. Each move I wish to take most first go by them and if they disagree then I am not make the move. I am nothing more then a game to them. A game where in the end, not matter what, they still win. If I fight for hope I will still die by their hands. It’s just easier to let them do their bidding now and die sooner then later.

I have given up on my hope. Hope has been thrown out my window as of right now. Maybe in my next life I will have hope to hold onto again. Remember Zoë, in our next life we will be best friends till the end. There won’t be any demons holding me back from the things I will miss. 

Zoë, you are amazing. Say it with me. You are AMAZING. Nothing you do will ever be wrong. I’ll love you forever and I plan on talking about you all the time in Haven. Our stories won’t end with my death because I will carry them over with me to the afterlife. Please don’t let our stories end. Keep telling them to your kids and other people who ask about me. I’ll miss you.

Carson, you are wonderful. Say it with me. You are WONDERFUL. When I was down about something you were there to pick me back up. You were the only boyfriend I had that went out of his way to make me happy. I can easily say that Zoë will be a very lucky girl when you finally ask her out. I am proud to call you my ex-boyfriend as well as my best friend. I’ll miss you.

You guys were the best. Remember not to cry about my death but to cry in joy for my freedom. 

Love, Summer