Oliver Twist meets Harry Potter

Lawks, I'm not sure. Ooh! Got it: Hagrid.

So........if I just tweak the wallet...............that way...........an'..................shove that out, then...................good! Oh, 'ello you. Wotchoo want? Wanna know why I just wrote that? Wanna know why I'm talkin' to a book? Well 'ere we go. Today I've stolen 48 fat wallets, an' a snuffbox. 'Ow? Like I said before, black magic. 'S really quite simple. An' now I 'ave one more wallet, that makes 4...................49! thing is, this is a school, an' I'm down on my knees to go there. Charlie reckons that makes me a freak, but some'ow, I don't think we'll be learnin' no maths at 'Ogwarts.

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Just got back Fagin. 'E says that if I get 50 or more tomorrow, then I can go. So I got me game face on. Ah! Nancy just came in.

"Nance, over 'ere!"

"Alright then Dodger, let's see this letter."

"'S brilliant! Nance, all I need to do is wiggle me fingers-" I demonstrated. "-An' a wallet comes flyin' at me." As I said that, a stupid  wallet slapped me in the face. "Ow!"

Nance just giggled. Women are so cruel.

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Good mornin' to ya! You know somethin'? I did it. I got the wallets that I needed. 'S all pretty good, right? Wrong! 'S fabby! I'm goin' to 'Ogwarts, with Oliver! An' n- wait! I swear someone's knockin' on the door. I ain't gonna write through this! Sorry mate, but my life is more important than your entertainment.

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So, just to fill yer in, the guy at the door was an 'uge, 'airy feller. E's called Hagrid, 'parently, an' 'e was sent by the 'eadmaster o' 'Ogwarts, Professor Dumbledore. Long story short, 'e's one o' the many people wot are sent out to 'elp the- 'ere it comes- muggle-borns to get ready for September 1. I asked 'im if 'e'd been to anybody else, an' 'e told me an' Oliver 'bout a boy by the name o' Harry Potter. Gonna say it now, for 'alf o' this, the 'ole lot of us were just as bamboozled as each other. Good thing is, Fagin an' Hagrid really seem to get on- now I look at it, their names look similar too. Everyone likes Hagrid- 'e's one o' those people. Even the muggles (love that word) look up to 'im.

But back to Harry Potter- 'e was famous afore 'e could walk or talk, afore 'e knew wot 'ad 'appened to 'im. Wanna know why? Attempted murder. 'E was one when it 'appened, so was I, an' Oliver. Somebody plotted to kill Harry- Lord Voldemort. 'E was a wizard, 'e went to 'Ogwarts, but 'e went bad. Very bad. As bad as the banana I once nabbed- I brought it back 'ere, stuffed it under me pillow. I forgot 'bout it, an' the next week, picked me pillow up, an' found black an' green mush all over the place. Voldemort was like that. 'E went to the Potter's 'ouse, let 'imself in. Within seconds, Harry's dad, James, was gone. Harry was next on the list. Lily ('is mum) ran upstairs with 'im, an begged old Voldy to take 'er, not Harry. So the self-obsessed #*$^ did the just that. 'E used the killin' curse on the poor little guy, an' yer know wot? It didn't work. It completely backfired. No-one quite knows 'ow, but Harry survived. People say that it killed Voldy too, but Hagrid don't believe one bit o' it. 'E says it's complete tosh. Yer know wot? From wot I've 'eard, I reckon 'e's right.

Anyways, Hagrid's takin' us to Diagon Alley tomorrow. Sounds great, cos only us witches an' wizards can get to it- I mean we could take Fagin, or Charlie, or any o' the muggles really, but I wouldn't wanna make 'em jealous, yer get me? So, I'm gonna write tomorrow, but right now, I'm rather busy. I'm playin' a game wot I like to call: stealin' Charlie's sausages usin' magic. See ya!

;-D Hi! Not much to say, but for those who don't know, saying "Lawks!" is like the Victorian equivalent of saying "Gosh!" or "OMG!". So yeah. Hope you enjoyed this. Bye!