FADED

God Please

Dajah:

  I watched as the empty bottle of vodka slipped out of my hand and rolled to the middle of the room. After spending two weeks in the hospital I had been out for a week now and it felt like it was my only friend rolling away from me. I had told Zion and Keith not to bother me for awhile because I didn't want them to see me like this more than they already had.

  I closed my eyes wishing my life was just a dream and when I woke I'd be someone important with a man who was in deep love with me and a family who was my lifeline. I opened my eyes again and I was still in the same dark room with clothes everywhere and food piled up as tall as my height. The smell coming from my body made my nose hairs burn but I didn't care because no one wanted me anyways. I held my stomach and rubbed my bruised empty bump that once carried my new found love that I never got to meet, that I was robbed of just like my happiness.

  Tears fell stinging my cheek as they ran over my stitches from one of the many open wounds I received and buries my body possessed. I tried to hold in my tears because I wanted to be done with crying but my ribs were too weak with one being fractured and sore to the touch I couldn't hold my breath anymore. I closed my eyes once again and my mind flashed back to that day, the day my life became worthless.

   The tears became like a river as I cried out loud to the darkness "Here I am again ... asking question waiting to be moved." I cried out trying to sing Jill Scott's song hear my call to calm my nerves as I remembered the cold blackness in his eyes when he looked down on me.

"I am so unsure of my prospection... what I thought I knew I don't seem too." This man became a stranger so fast that my feet failed me and my baby that day I patted my face with my sleeve. 

  If it wasn't for Zion I don't know where I'd be but I feel like it would have been better if my eyes never opened after that day after the eyes of my unborn was guarantee never open. I didn't know I love her or him so much until I knew I'd never meet them. "Where is the turn so I can get back to what I believe in... back to the old me."

"God please hear my call I am afraid..." I slowly got up and walked to the kitchen where I pulled out another bottle of Vodka taking a big swig before walking back to the couch. Grabbing the remote I flicked through the stations the headline of a news station caught my attention as I rise from my couch. Jaylan Malone the Man Who Assaulted His wife brutally beating her and murdered his unborn has posted bail today.

" For me..." My skin went cold and my blood started boiling all at the same time. I grabbed my phone to call Zion but before I could dial a knock came on the door causing me to jump harder then I wanted to make my ribs shake with pain.

" ahh shit ouchy" I gently cupped my side as I slowly walked to the door. As I got closer they banged on the door and rung the bell at the same time causing my hairs to rise on end.

" whoo, whoo-o Is it?" I managed to get out as my voice shook just as bad as my legs and hands.

" It's Me!! Open up girl I saw the news they been flashing it all morning." I took a deep breath as I recognized Zion's voice and quickly opened the door.

" Oh, my goodness Zion I thought you were him I was about to pass out!" I said as I closed and locked the door behind her.

"I figured that's why I went ahead and told you who it... OMG Day what the hell you been doing up in here look at this place." he walked back over to me and held her nose.

" Oh hell nah" she grabbed my good arm fighting through the mess of clothes and empty food boxes gently pulling me to the bathroom.

"I know I should have came over here sooner this nigga got you smelling like old raw catfish nuggets and goat cheese." she let go of my arm and plugged up the tub and ran some bath water dripping a little muscle relaxing bubble syrup in it.