Dear You | ✓

01.29 p.m.

Dear you,

We chatted for a while today.

This is the first time we've had a civil conversation for no reason in particular. It's been so long. I miss the way we used to be.

We used to chat all day through the night until we could no longer keep our eyes open and our fingers ache from typing too much. We used to stay up till 3 a.m. discussing random topics like where we want to go together.

You should know how I felt when you said "Hello" today.

I stared at my phone in disbelief to see your name finally light up from my screen. A huge smile flashed across my face and I felt butterflies erupt in my stomach.

It was the first time I felt utter joy ever since our breakup.

We joked for a while and it felt good to finally be talking to you like we used to - at least before you decided to treat me like a stranger.

But that shattered.

"I didn't reject you,
I just didn't really give a shit."

You should also know how much that ruined me. How much I wanted to cry my damn eyes out. How much it hurts to have your happiness come back again after almost a month of despair then have the same person crumble that with a few words.

I don't know what makes you so special that I can't forget my feelings for you.

I feel like a toy.

You play with me and tangle my emotions up and leave me to fix myself. But how am I supposed to fix myself if my pieces are missing?

I hate you for doing this to me.

I hate you for making me feel like I'm worthless.

Yet you used to make me feel like I'm everything to you.

My emotions and sense are splintering and that's because of you but I blame myself anyway.

- 01.29 p.m.