My Many Mishaps

Way to assume..

8th Grade guys are idiots. At least the ones in my classes, back in the day. One would think that with all the hormones buzzing around, they'd at least know who's one of them and who's not.

Apparently, that isn't always the case.

Eighth grade was my "rebellious" stage. Short hair, dark colors, low profile. I wore hoodies, beanies, excessive eyeliner, combat boots, and the like. Think "casual Batman"

As most of my "great moments" in the grade, most of this went down in Social Studies. I sat on the end of the front row, next to a boy who I'll call... Mike.

Mike was always giving me these odd glances, and avoiding conversations with me. I wasn't particularly social, so I waved it off and assumed it was just the typical chatter about my weirdness.

Mike was almost as awkward as I was. He stuttered, was jumpy, and would call the teacher "sir". But his awkwardness was because he was scared of judgement for... Swinging how he did.

Mike was gay.

Everyone knew it, he was bullied, the usual for that school. Well, everyone found out when he talked about his crush he sat by in Social Studies.

I had overheard him talking about the "attractive guy" he sat next to in class, and I assumed it was the guy on his other side. (Everyone had a thing for him.)

Time passed. School went on as usual. There was only two months of school left, and after eight months, Mike's crush was revealed.

It was free-work in Social Studies. Naturally, I was drawing cats on my notebook instead of working, the girl behind me was teasing me, the kid in the corner was eating paper, all was well and normal.

Until an especially fidgety Mike poked me on the shoulder. I turned, and looked at him, astounded that he started a conversation with me, especially while I was in my laid-back Bruce Wayne attire.

"Hey, uh, are- are you, um, are you gay?" He kinda shouted at me.

"Pardon?"

"I-I-I- I didn't mean to like, uh, assume anything or anything, I just, uh, you know."

"Is this another lesbian accusation because I have short hair?" I asked Mike, who's face was red and sweating.

"L-lesbian accusation? Aren't you, uh, you know, a, uh, heh."

Then I got it. I was the "guy" that he had a crush on. He was asking me if I was gay, because he thought that I was a man.

I said nothing. I simply stared at him, unzipped my hoodie, moved my shirt off my shoulder, and snapped the strap of my bra.

He was mortified.

He had assumed that I was a male for eight months. For eight months, he hadn't noticed that I walked into the girls bathroom. For eight months, he didn't realize that once in a while, I used a different kind of vending machine. For eight months, he didn't know I was part of the GIRLS TRACK LEAGUE.

Mike and I never spoke to each other again.

But.. The other students talked enough for us. Of course, once everyone learned that Mike thought I was a guy, the school kids went nuts. I was known as "Mike's boyfriend" in that class for the next two months.

I once saw a girl during the summer that asked how I felt about gay marriage, since I was Mike's "boyfriend" and stuff.

Years later, I've let go of my "Batman's Casual Friday" outfits, and have pretty much become one of the gamer geeks from the movie Pixels. That's how I like it.

The other day I went on Facebook for the first time since 8th grade, and opened my messages. There was one from Mike.

"Sorry for embarrassing you last year.. Everyone called me gay, so I thought that I was gay, and I liked you, so you must've be a guy too. Sorry, mb. Ps: I changed schools so people would stop talking about it. Have a good 9th grade life."

I still don't know if I should've laughed or cried.

At least it prepared me for comment sections on videos of mine saying "R U boy or girl??" and "I honestly don't know if you're a female or male. What are you?"

Lesson of all this: People will assume you are something you're not, but as long as you know, you can be happy.