Just hold on

I still remember that day, I remember kissing her goodnight and her arms wrapping around my torso as we laid in bed together

It was a cold month, we were covered in warm blankets

Our bodies intertwined warmly together

My eyes fluttered shut as she whispered softly that she loved me

I remember waking up with a startle the next morning

I felt colder as her body heat wasn't there anymore

I had looked next to me, seeing a small paper folded up neatly on the nightstand of her side of the bed

Dread filled my body

I knew something was wrong

I had this same feeling for a few months

I slowly and dreadfully reached over to get the paper

I remember my hands started trembling uncontrollably

The worst filled my mind

The moment i opened up that folded piece of paper, i knew

I knew damn well what it was

Seeing her neat writing becoming a nervous mess made my heartbeat run chaoticly

Word after word that she wrote broke my heart

I thought i wouldn't have to experience this type of pain again

But seeing what she wrote broke me even more and i wanted to die in that moment

Lossing Caro and not being able to do anything about it, hurt me and i felt like i couldn't breath in that moment

It was December 6, 2015

In the letter she explain to me why she did what she did

Though she didn't have to explain it

I understood her

When you love someone, you just know

She didn't have to explain herself to me, dead or alive, i understood her

I had felt my body breaking down, my heart beating so fast, my palms sweating profusely

I remember checking my phone and seeing a voicemail

She left me a note and a voicemail

4:20 AM

That's the time she left me a voicemail

I remember clicking the button and hearing her sweet angelic voice ring through the voiceline