Advice To Myself(Not A Diary)

Life

Okay so Im in a mood to let things out so...This is my current mood...

I am content with some aspects of myself. But you ever have them parts of you, Physical or emotional that you Just want to change?
My biggest insecurity is my size. I am currently a 127 pound 13 almost 14 year old. Im only 4"11. To me, this is harsh weight. I feel I am fat. I have had plenty friends tell me " your not fat, Your normal, your skinny" but In reality, I don't feel that way. Though others say I am "Normal" , I am not content with myself. I don't want to be " Normal" , I want to be thin, and not have a belly. I want to go from size 6 Jeans to at least size 4 or size 3. I don't want to be size 0 or 1, I just want to feel confident about myself. Its hard walking out in public, in content with my own body. I don't have the confidence to wear a bathing suite. All I want is to be happy and confident to walk out with confidence in my appearance.

Moving on, I am not comfortable with my appearance. I wouldn't call myself ugly, because No woman is ugly in my eyes. You just have to find a look to your self to make you feel beautiful, and as long as you think your beautiful, that is true beauty. I don't think I'm beautiful, but I wouldn't say I'm ugly either. Their are some aspects of me I dislike, but hey. It's natural, It's... Me. Being you is the most beautiful thing there is. I know I'm not beautiful but... I'm me. We all have our flaws. We're our own master piece. I have a beautiful soul, and I'm okay with being me, I accept myself... And that's what i Think beauty is.

I know I have some negativity about my physical traits, but I accept myself. Im human. Theirs nothing wrong with having a few extra pounds, or not being as pretty as that popular girl. I may not be content with myself, but It's not wrong being what I am.

So next topic, Popularity.
Now I don't have all the friends in the world, I don't care to. Friends are a thing that all of us need, to lift us up when we're down, to put a smile on our face. Someone to count on, and Open up too, we all need a hand once in a while. The problem is...some of us don't choose the right friends. You got to know who Your opening up to. The person you open up too could be Just another person just using you.

So... life, It hard, especially with people telling you what to do, and what not to.
If you recall...that friend I told you I lost...Well I found her. I thought it was a good thing but once everyone finds out its not. I already had people calling me fake and stupid for believing in her again. Believe it or not I knew what I was doing. I talked things out with her, I even looked for friends advice before making the decision. People may call me stupid and fake, But I believe in second chances. I believe people could change. Some times it takes a loss of someone to realize how much they mean to you. I mean this was a girl I would spend nights on the phone with. I could tell anything. I could be myself around. And now We realize how much we need each other.
My advice for this is...
Go at it. Give a second Chance. Fuck who ever calls you fake, don't actually "fuck" them but, fuck them. People change, and sometimes you got to make that change. ( I added a little Andy Biersack in there) .

Advice #2 for myself
Be YOURSELF. FUCK who calls you fat FUCK whoever calls you ugly. If that pretty bitch with all the makeup calls you ugly LICK YOUR FINGER AND WIPE OFF THOSE FAKE EYEBROWS, AND WIPE OFF HER CONTYou
( not to offend those of you who see it as Art, or use it, I prefer eye makeup Im not a fan of face makeup.
Loveee You
--Ariana