Smoke and Mirrors ▹ Alec Lightwood [1]

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER TWO
IRATZE RUNE

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

     Punching things, Adrian learned, was very therapeutic.

The comforting thud as fists met leather. The ache in his knuckles each time they made contact. The burning in his muscles. The release of anger and tension and stress into the punching bag itself, like the bag was a sponge absorbing it all. The heat of the training room, the mats on the floor and walls, the training weapons; everything in that room was meant to train children into warriors, but all Adrian saw was a healthy way to let out his feelings. A way to let them out without hurting anyone around him.

He didn't like hurting people. He wasn't like Jace, who covered his pain with sarcasm and a wall around his heart. He wasn't like Isabelle, who got the comfort she needed from physical affection but nothing deeper, who left a trail of broken hearts in her wake. And he wasn't like Alec, who kept things in for so long that he ended up lashing out at people who were only guilty of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He wasn't like any of them.

The only person who suffered from Adrian Dieudonne's feelings was Adrian Dieudonne himself.

Adrian hissed through clenched teeth when he noticed how hot he was, taking a break in his relentless punching to jerk his shirt over his head and toss it aside. He knew he probably should pick it up and set is aside—Hodge always got onto him for keeping the training room messy—but his mind was too cluttered. He thought seeing Jace would have made him feel better, but as soon as he had went off with Clary, Adrian found himself thinking of things he didn't want to think about.

Adrian's fist lashed out, coming in contact with the punching bag so hard that it nearly fell over despite the weights on the bottom. His mind just wouldn't shut up.

Clary and her mysterious background. Thud. Oliver the werewolf and his unrequited feelings for Adrian. Thud. Isabelle cruelly throwing his own unrequited love back in his face just to make a point. Thud, thud. Alec being oblivious because he was so hung up on Jace. Thud. Jace not appreciating Alec enough, always interrupting him, only paying attention to him when it was convenient, Jace not realizing how lucky he should feel to be loved by someone as beautiful as Alexander Lightwood. Thud, thud, thud. Alec not loving himself enough to stop his parabatai from walking all over him. Thud, thud. Alec, Alec, Alec.

Why couldn't he have fallen in love with someone else? Why couldn't he fall in love with Oliver? Oliver was sweet and loving and gentle. Oliver wasn't hung up on someone else. Oliver wasn't part of a society that put so much focus on continuing a bloodline that being gay was supposed to stay behind closed doors.

Adrian gritted his teeth and threw another punch. He shot forward to catch the bag before it could fall to the ground, letting out a small curse. He pressed his forehead against the leather. It was hot against his skin, but it helped him focus a little bit, helped him realize that for the first time in a long time, hitting the punching bag wasn't helping him like it usually did.

"Adrian?" Adrian sighed and pressed his forehead further into the bag before he pushed away from it, running a hand through his hair. He called out from where he was, and a moment later Alec was coming into the training room. The scowl on his face told Adrian he was about to rant to him, so he started pulling the gloves off of his hands. They were supposed to protect his skin, but they hadn't done any good in his case; his middle knuckle on his left hand had split open, and his right hand was worse. Alec skidded to a halt when he saw the blood on his right hand. "Are you okay? What happened?"