will it ever end!?

title of your story

chapter 9 - sam

Thia and I are walking out to see what the commotion is in the yard. There are four trucks pulling in. I spot Sean sitting in the passenger seat of the first truck. He doesn’t even wait for it to stop before jumping out and running over to Thia. I roll my eyes as he sticks his tongue down her throat. Nice. A spectacle.

Matt walks over, shaking his head at the maturity of my twin, “Get a room, kid,” he mutters and walks by. All of the soldiers pile out of the trucks, yelling and cheering because my brother is getting some in public. Seriously, does he have to do that here? Right here?

“Sean,” I say, “Where is Jamie?”

He doesn’t pay attention and I start to worry. I can feel panic set in. My heart starts racing. It gets hard to breath. I can feel my hands start to shake. Everyone is out of the trucks. Jamie isn’t here. Oh God. He’s not here.

I feel a strong arm go around my shoulder, pulling me into a warm embrace. “Samantha, calm down. Come on, let’s go inside. Tell me what’s wrong, little girl,” I hear as I am led away from the yard.

“Jamie. Jamie should be here. He’s not…” I am gasping for breath, unable to even get the words out. He holds me and talks soothingly in my ear. I don’t know what he says, but it helps me get under control again. His hands are in my hair, running up and down my back, soothing and calming. I put my arms around his waist. I’m crying again. Damn it. I am so tired of crying. Am I ever going to do anything else?

I let him hold me for a little while, then get frustrated with myself and step away, wiping my eyes. He smiles down at me, “You missed a spot,” he says quietly as he gently wipes off a stray tear. This makes more fall down. “Samantha, those big brown eyes of yours are going to be the death of me, you know. Please stop crying. Do I need to get Molly?”

I laugh a little at the thought of him getting a four year old to make my tears stop. “No, don’t do that, she’ll start crying too and tell me that I’m making her sad. That will just make it worse, “ I tell him with a sniff.

He smiles at me tenderly. “I’ll go find Jamie for you if you promise to stop the tears. I’ll even carry him over here and set him at your feet. If you want, I’ll dress him in a tutu and make him dance. Pink or purple?”

I giggle a little, “Purple. I like purple.”

“Purple it is then,” he says as he heads off pretending to search.

“Matt,” I call after him. As he turns around I smile, “Thank you.” He waves his acknowledgement and moves off as I head back to my room.

When I get in the building, my ears are assaulted by the sounds of Sean and Thia. It sounds like they are having fun; either that or one of them is dying of some horribly painful disease. I’m not sure which I would prefer right at this moment. I move on to my room, sitting cross legged on my bed. I want to see Jamie so bad right now. At the same time, I don’t want to face him. I want him to know what I did, but I don’t want to see the look of disappointment on his face when I tell him. I look down and see my leg bouncing up and down, a sure sign that I am nervous. I feel the anxiety set in and unsuccessfully try to fight it back. I start twisting the ring around on my finger. Then the rocking sets in, something I’ve always done to comfort myself. I curl up on my bed and rock, trying to imagine what it will be like to be with him again.

Finally, the noise next door stops and I stop rocking. I compose myself and sit up. I take out the picture and look at it. He has the best smile I’ve ever seen. I run my fingers over his hair and face, wishing it were him and not a picture. I put the picture back and get up, determined to see this through. I have to talk to him. Sean would have said something if he were hurt. I make myself relax and walk to the door, through the hallway and out into the warm sunshine.