Catsby: A Novel

Chapter 10

When I came to, I was resting in the middle of a large bed. It was so big, in fact, that I couldn't reach either side if I'd stretched my arms out, giving me the feeling that I was afloat on a sea. A sea of comfort. Once again, Catsby was sitting next to me, attending to me. For a cat that no one had ever seen before, he and I were getting pretty chummy.

"How you feeling, Old Spice?"

"I wish you'd quit calling me that," I said. It wasn't an offensive name or anything, but I associated the cologne with my father, who liked to splash it on his bag after shaving.

"What would you have me call you, then?"

"My name: Dick."

Catsby mulled this over for a moment, as if it were a matter of some weight. Finally, he said, "Afraid I can't do that. 'Dick' is a perfectly fine name and all, but I feel we're too close for first names, Old Spice."

The hubris of this creature!

"I thank you for saving my life and all," I said, "but I don't know how close we are. I mean, we've only just met."

"And yet we share a special bond. Can you feel it? I certainly do. After all, it's not every day that I'm able to save a neighbor's life donating my own liver."

I gulped. "I was missing a kidney, not a liver. Besides, you only have one liver. Without it, you'd die within hours."

Catsby cocked his head. "Is that so? Dr. Zeckleburg!"

The surgeon strolled into the room. His "Kiss the Cook!" apron was spattered with blood.

"Doctor, I believe we may need to put the patient back under. Apparently, he was missing a kidney, not a liver. In any case, I believe it's imperative that I get mine back."

Dr. Zeckleburg sighed. "You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, right?" He pulled another round pill out of his pocket and set it on my tongue. "We'll have you fixed up in no time."