Catsby: A Novel

Chapter 23

"Wait a minute," I said. "This sounds exactly like the movie Django Unchained."

"Never seen it," Catsby said.

"Are you sure? Instead of a dentist freeing a runaway slave, you're telling me about a vet freeing a couple of kittens from a pet store. I think you've even copied some of the dialogue, nearly word for word."

Catsby considered this. "Hmmmm. What an odd coincidence."

"I don't think it's a coincidence. It's called plagiarism."

"Let's split the difference and say it's an homage."

I stood up. "Either way, it doesn't sound like your story. It sounds like Quentin Tarantino's. You've opened your house to me. You've opened your financial records to me. Why can't you open your heart? Be honest with me."

"You're right, Old Spice. Sit back down. I'll pour us a couple more margaritas and then I'll tell you the rest of the story—sticking closer to the facts."

"You don't need to dress up your story with shootouts and explosions to make it interesting," I said, sliding back into my chair. "Just tell me your story, in your own words."

"Of course. Let me ask you a question: Have you ever seen the movie We're the Millers?"

I shook my head.

Catsby nodded. "Then let's start the story over. I'll begin with the family that adopted me from that pet store: the Millers."