aesthete :: ashton irwin | au

s e is

Carmen.

I assumed that Ashton was interested in me because of his determination to impress me with pickup lines. I just didn't feel this way about him and why would I, when I had a loving boyfriend like Blake. He was my patient and this was meant to stay professional.

Doctor Greene said that I should make him comfortable in his own skin and let him know that he belongs in this world; in school. I came up with a plan and now it needed to be executed. Ashton wanted Lizzie to carpool with us and go home so she wouldn't have to stay by the bridge alone, but she insisted that it was fine.

The way she looked at him was a look that I've never seen before, it assured Ashton and calmed him down, relieving his worries. I knew they cared a lot for each other.

The multiple coloured lights flashed in our eyes as we drove through the city for the last time this night. The traffic light turned from amber to red as we waited it to flicker to green.

"Ashton, I want to ask you something." I said, tapping my fingers to the beat of Cigarette Daydreams by Cage the Elephant.

"Sure." He responded, looking at me and then briskly turning away to look at the flashing lights.

"At school, doesn't it affect you how people just treat you like you don't exist?" He was thinking, I sat there waiting for a response as he sighed, parting his lips to talk.

"Well.....it d-doesn't really m-matter to me, honestly. I h-have friends." He responded, of course it bothered him. His words were a lie, how could someone be happy to be an outcast.

"I just wanted to know if you'd want to try something, I thought maybe you might be accepted by everyone." I said as the light turned to green.

"W-What if I gave it a t-try?" He stuttered. I smiled, knowing where this was going. My friends saw me tonight with him at the ice-cream shop, I planned on telling them about my assignment but I guessed they found out anyway. That was the last time they were going to see Ashton Irwin like Ashton Irwin.

"Okay, at school tomorrow. Meet me by the trees in the back at lunch." I told him, parking my car into the driveway as he exited the car, waving me goodbye. I was happy with how tonight went, I hope that Ashton enjoyed it because he was going to be seeing me around more often.

+

Ashton.

I stood anxiously next to the tall oak tree waiting for Carmen to show up. I held my notebook in my hand, looking at the grass while everyone else looked at me. I managed to feel awkward everywhere I went, I couldn't help but feel things were after me. I stood in the sun, too nervous to sit anywhere next to random strangers. They were all laughing with each other and looking at me, their piercing gazes were what scared me the most. Eyes were telescopes to the galaxy in your soul and that galaxy scared me.

It was filled with emotions and all your deepest, darkest secrets that you wished to keep hidden from the world. I would've loved to share a part of me to world, but they take their share and rip me to pieces.

I'd rather conserve myself and share parts of me to the people who mattered the most. I hoped that Carmen that would turn out to be one of them in the end.

I waited for about half an hour when she finally came. I saw her through the glass door talking to her friends, the pieces of her group split up as she walked out to meet me. I looked up at her, looking away to make it look as if I wasn't paying attention this entire time.

"Hey Ashton, you were here since the bell rung?" She asked, walking up to me.

"Uh....yeah, I wasn't hungry so I just sketched here." I lied, that question made me uncomfortable. It made me look like I had no social life, even though that was kind of true I still didn't need her to point that out.

We sat down and Carmen gave me advice on how to win the hearts of the people at school. She said that I needed to talk more, go to parties and wear some different clothes.

"Just fake it." This idea was nothing that I would normally do. She said that after school we were going shopping and to a hair salon. This made me nervous, but I didn't object. I just wanted her to like me, maybe even understand me more.

[I N T E R L U DE]

I sat in the barber's chair as Carmen talked to the stylist about what haircut I should get. I bit my lip, as the guy with the green highlights in his hair, who said to call him Antonio chopped away at my hair as if it was a prime time piece of meat. I tried to stay still as possible and not shake Antonio. I felt okay because Carmen was right next to me, but when Blake called her and she walked outside to take the call I began to feel uneasy again. Minutes later my hair was done and Carmen came back inside and smiled. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw the curls at the back of my head were chopped off and a little remained in the front to form a quiff.

Carmen said it made me look better, I guess it did. The only problem was I didn't think it was me. Next, she said that I needed to get rid of my glasses and start to wear contact lenses. Contacts scared me, because they could fall out plus I needed to continuously buy them when glasses was a one time thing. After minutes of persuading, Carmen got her way and we bought contacts for me to wear instead.

Lastly, she said that I needed to get some new clothes.

"Girls like hoodies and t-shirts, like what you wear but not when it's old and has too much lint." She said and went on to talk about Blake and the smell of his cologne. I then zoned out for a moment.

She chose out some new clothes for me without asking what I thought, but I guessed that she knew what was best. Being myself just wouldn't cut it at high school. We were at the cashier and she took out money to pay for the clothes.

"Carmen, I can't let you pay for this." I said to her.

"Ashton, my mom and dad gives me enough allowance to buy 4 wardrobes of clothing each month, I could afford it." She smiled, paying for the items.

"Thank you." I told her. I wasn't exactly comfortable with this decision, what if she regretted doing all of this for me in the future? What if, in the end I wasn't worth the pain and loss?

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Sotd: Kitchen Sink - Twenty One Pilots

This chapter is dedicated to Shanialexa because she motivated me to write this chapter. <3