Sincerely, L //Zauren

7.

I spent all of last night looking for my diary and it's as if it sprouted two legs and ran away. It was there when I came home from school yesterday, but ever since last night I can't find it. If mother got a hold of it, that would be the end of me, but I don't think she does. She wasn't in my room other than when I came home from school, but I had it then.

There are so many things in there that shouldn't been seen by anyone, other than me. Maybe I just misplaced it. I might just be overreacting.

I close my locker and I'm surprised to see Summer leaning on the locker next to mine with a sad expression.

Here comes the apology.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, L. I know I was being a jealous bitch. I want my best friend back." She pokes out her bottom lip while clutching her books to her chest.

We've been through this cycle plenty of times before. Summer and I are like sisters, one day we're feuding, and the next we're close.

I fasten the lock on my locker and smile at her.

"I knew you would." I say cockily. She lightly hits my shoulder and the two of us walk alongside one another down the hallway.

"I have to admit, it was really funny when you spilled that water on my dad." Summer laughs. It was anything but funny to me.

"No it wasn't, I was so embarrassed." I scoff, my face threatening to turn red again.

"He was acting so weird in the car on the way home." She says.

A lump forms in my throat.
I hope it wasn't because of what I did.

"W-what do you mean?" I walk at a slow pace and turn to look at her.

Summer shrugs. "On the way home he looked like he had seen a ghost. Your bathroom must be haunted."

I fake laugh. Now that I realize it, he was acting weird once he came down stairs.

My heart stops as soon as I put the pieces together. My Diary went missing and the only person that was upstairs when I wasn't was....Oh my God.

~

"The best part about you is that you can't speak back to me, or judge me about the things I write inside you. Or at least I hope you can't.

My mind set has been super crazy lately. Ever since Summer's dad gave me that ride home, I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. And they aren't good things that I'm thinking. They're extremely filthy things that I feel shameful for. I've gotta go now.
-Sincerely, L"

"I found a dress for homecoming today. Its just a simple black dress, nothing too fancy. But while I was trying it on, I couldn't help but wonder what Mr. Malik would think of me in it. I've been thinking about him all day, and the feeling between my legs is still there.
It might sound awful to admit, but I wished he'd touch me there, like I am now. it would feel so much better if it was his hand instead of my own. I want his rough hands to violate me and make me feel-"

I quickly shut Lauren's diary.
Why the hell do I even have it? I didn't mean to be nosy, but Lauren's room was so interesting. I also couldn't help but notice the small diary that peeked from under neath her pillow. I know I shouldn't have taken it but I just couldn't help myself. I read the first page, and once I saw my name, I shoved the small diary into the pocket of my pants.

And now I'm here reading all her personal thoughts like some creep and I'm shamefully hard.

I want to act on it so bad, but to be thinking about a 16 year old girl would be terrible. She's the same age as my daughter for Christ sake. I stare down at the lump that has formed in my sweat pants, contemplating on what I should and shouldn't do.

Reign is at work, and Summer is at school, leaving me here alone with a Lauren's big green eyes on my mind. Not that I want them to be, but after reading only a few pages of her diary, I'm starting to view her differently. She isn't that naive girl she portrays herself to be.

Just imaging her on her back thinking about me while she plays with herself excites me more than it should.

My hand grows a mind of it's own and slips beneath the waistband of my pants.