Chapter 1

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"Hey, JC! We're here. We gotta go in man." Joey waved his hand in front of JC's face to get his attention. JC shook his head and let the last bits of his daydream tumble down his lap and soak into the wet carpet on the floor of the limousine. For the first time throughout the hour long car ride, he let reality in. Shrieks from zealous fans seeped in through the windows. Time to face the mob, he sighed.

"Okay guys, you know the drill, I'm out first, you follow, Jake will have the end of the line. No stopping for autographs this time." All five member of N'sync nodded and waited for Allistar to open the door. Deafening screams spilled inside, accosting the silence within. They grew impossibly louder still as, one by one; the young pop stars emerged into the daylight. JC squinted at the entrance to the hotel. It seemed miles away through the flailing arms of fans on either sides of the walkway. JC held his breath and stepped out of the car. Keeping his eyes on the door in front of Allistar, he did a mental countdown. A quarter of the way there, half way there, three-quarters, just a little farther.

"JC I love you!" JC looked up to see which annoying, pre-pubescent, shimmery-lip-gloss-buying, girl-child had screamed his name. In doing so, he lost his footing and fell. He let out a grunt as his left knee hit the concrete sidewalk. His attempts to get up were quickly hampered by girls running past the velvet rope, knocking over the stanchions and rushing towards him. Immediately he felt hands pushing him every direction except the one he wanted to go. Hands on his arms, on his legs, pulling his clothes and hair. He tried to break free from them but couldn't. Suddenly, a pair of strong hands grasped him around the arms and lifted him up. It was only then that JC realized that his eyes were squeezed shut.

"JC!" His eyelids popped open at the sound of the familiar, deep voice. JC's mouth formed the word Al but the no sound came out. Allistar yelled something back to Jake. JC felt himself being yanked to his feet and hustled away towards the entrance. His feet were barely skimming the ground as Allistar rushed him to safety. JC could see his wide-eyed group-mates watching from behind the glass. The automatic doors opened and closed, muffling the sounds from outside.

"Jace! Man! You okay?" Joey shouted.

"Not here!" Allistar barked. Allistar, Johnny and Jake dragged the group into the elevator, leaving hotel security to deal with the mob outside.

(*******************)

Hoping to wash his stress of the past days down the drain, JC stood under the shower head and let the water pulse down on his face and chest with a monotonous rhythm. Switching off the tap, he stepped into the steamy bathroom and reached for a towel. He shook his head vigorously, sending droplets to every corner of the small room. He lifted his hand and made a large, streaky swipe across the mirror. Dead eyes stared back at him through the glass. JC wondered exactly when it was that he became this person and quit being himself, Joshua Scott Chasez. He wondered if he would ever be him again. Wherever he was, JC sure missed him. Maybe I should take out a missing persons bulletin. A loud pounding at the door interrupted his thoughts.

"Hey JC! Are you all right in there?" Chris yelled through the wood. JC smiled dully at his reflection. At least he had friends who cared about him.

"Yeah, I'm done." JC replied, opening the door. "Shower's yours buddy."

"Thank you." Chris said with an exaggerated sigh.

JC stepped into the hotel room and rummaged through his suitcase for some clothes. Finding his favorite sweatshirt and a pair of well-worn blue jeans, he dropped the towel from around his waist and quickly got dressed. Digging through his bag again, he found his coil notebook at the bottom. He sat down on the bed and leaned up against the wall. He opened the book to an all too familiar verse. The song lyrics stared back at him from the page, taunting him. He read them over three times before slamming the book shut and throwing it across the room.

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