Star Wars Rebels Stories

Blinded

This chapter contains spoilers for The Twilight of the Apprentice (it's more angsty stuff because I apparently like to make myself cry, haha XD).

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The world had never felt so ... empty.

It was a weird feeling not being able to blink. Everything felt dark and cold. Kanan moved his head from side to side, trying to picture his room that he'd once been able to see.

His desk was over there ... and that's where his closet was, yes ... and there's Hera ... and--

"Hera?" Kanan asked, suddenly feeling her warm presence fill the room.

Hera, who was standing in the doorway watching him, smiled. "How'd you know?" she asked, making her way over to him.

"I may not be able to see, but I can still sense things," he grinned, trying to picture her in his mind. Her green skin, her soft eyes, her sweet smile...

But Hera's smile disappeared when he mentioned his sight. Sitting down beside him on the bed, she brushed a strand of hair from his face. As she absentmindedly ran the back of her fingers across his cheek, careful not to touch the bandage that covered his scars, she remembered when Zaluna had lost her vision years before. The Sullustan probably never got her eyes checked after that. Hera wondered how she was doing. It was another one of the many loose ends they still had to tie up when they had time. If they ever had time.

Kanan turned to face Hera, not quite looking directly at her. "You've gone awfully quiet," he smiled, his wound not dampening his charisma. "What are you thinking about?"

"Kanan..." Hera began, a deep sigh escaping her, one so heavy and full of sorrow that it made Kanan's brows furrow in concern.

"Hera, it's okay," he tried to assure her, fumbling around for her fingers.

She took his hand firmly in hers and began again. "No, it's not okay, Kanan," she shook her head angrily, suddenly full of frustration for herself. "I should've been there for you. We should've gone to Malachor together." Her words came out quickly, barely registering in her mind before her mouth blurted them out. "I should've been firmer! I should've forced you to let me--"

"Hera," Kanan said so softly it made her stop mid-sentence. He squeezed her hand gently. "There's nothing you could've done. Maul was ... a Sith of some kind. Neither of us would've stood a chance."

Hera tried to speak again but Kanan cupped her cheek with his hand and continued. "I know that you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself and others. You've been taking care of my sorry butt for the past six years." Hera chuckled at this. A smile pulled at Kanan's lips as his fingertips trailed her cheekbone. "But some things are out of both of our control. Sometimes life throws obstacles like this at you."

"And we just need to be there for each other when it does," she nodded. "I'm here for you, Kanan. I always will be."

"I know, Hera," he nodded, smiling sadly. "I know."

The Twi'lek looked down at their joined hands. He was suffering so badly. He tried not to show it, but she could tell he was in pain. Memories of when he'd first arrived back flooded her mind. She remembered how she'd felt; her body numb with shock as she took his face in her hands, and then holding him in her arms for ages like she had before he left. They'd both felt defeated. Broken.

Her thumb traced his knuckles in thought. What would it be like to not be able to see? Surely you would feel lonely, right?

No, Kanan didn't have to feel lonely. She would be there with him every step of the way, no matter what the cost. If she had to lead him around on missions or describe every paint colour Sabine had come up with for the rest of her life, she'd do it in a heartbeat.

She looked up at him with a warm smile, half expecting to see adventurous blue orbs staring back at her, but coming face to face with bandages instead. Her delicate eyebrows knitted together and she had the sudden urge to rip it away and see if his eyes were still there. The eyes that made her feel strong when they looked at her with admiration, the eyes that narrowed in determination as he pulled out his lightsaber, the eyes that comforted her when she was hurting. He had galaxies in his eyes and they shone brightly at every opportunity for adventure.

She hooked one finger under the fabric and slowly began to pull it away. Kanan's hands shot up to stop her. "Kanan, please," she whispered. He nodded slowly, reluctantly dropping his hands into his lap as she continued to pull it away.

There wasn't much to see except raw flesh, slightly coloured by the bacta the medical droid had applied. Hera's heart dropped at the sight. He'd been so brave to take down Maul even when in this much pain. Her vision blurred and she felt a weight in the pit of her stomach.

Kanan's head dropped. "It's bad, isn't it?"

Hera smiled slightly. He looked so small in front of her, like the young Caleb Dume she imagined whenever she heard bits and pieces about his past. "I've seen worse, love," she said. "Does it hurt?"

Kanan nodded, trying to feel for the bandage on the bed. "Here," Hera said, slowly putting it back over his eyes, careful not to hurt him.

"Thanks," he whispered softly. She stared at him lovingly for a while. He'd always be her Kanan, no matter what happened. He was still the courageous Jedi she knew, and he needed to know that. With a heart full of warmth, she slowly leaned in to kiss his forehead.

"Like, I said," she replied, pulling him into her arms, "I'll always be there for you."

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NOPE, NOPE, NOPE.