Just eat

Part 4- three weeks later

Dan's POV
Of course I didn't stop eating completely straight away. I just slowly stopped eating after a few days of eating less and less. The longer that this went on I found more ways to distract Phil and to make him think that I was eating, it was quite easy when I tried. I drank lots of water and if I felt weak (which I did from time to time) I'd let myself have something stupidly small, maybe a cracker or something. I'm pretty sure my body hated me. Sharp pains shot up my side and in my stomach more often than what was comfortable. My body kept begging for food but I couldn't give into it, I just couldn't bring myself to do it even if I wanted to. That's all I wanted to be is thin. I hated my body and my body hated me. I looked at family photos and realised I've always been fat, even as a young child. I can't believe my parents never told me, isn't it their job to look out for me? To keep me fit and healthy, especially as a kid. How was I not bullied for this in school? Yet I'm a twenty four year old being bullied for it by probably a bunch of twelve year olds, this isn't fair, it's quite sad when you think about it. Getting bullied by kids half my age, I'm a joke and not even a funnyI one. I've realised in the last three weeks I've become more distant towards my fans. I've only uploaded 1 video, I've barely tweeted and I've missed a live show just because I couldn't be bothered for them and I didn't need reminding I was fat. I've also spend a lot less time with Phil just in case he makes food for me or when he has popcorn and offers me some, I can't risk eating anything. This was no way to live but I had to, before I know it I'll be thin and I can go back to normal.

I'm sorry for the shorter than usual part, I'm hoping to start making them longer but I can't promise anything, because this one is so short I'll try and update again today of tomorrow.