I love how hard Lindsey has worked to keep his kids around. They adore him. My heart swells watching them chatter away while we eat dinner, knowing that they're leaving in a couple hours. Stella has been crying on and off since we told her Lindsey was going into surgery. She's always been such a daddy's girl.
"Stevie, how long can you stay with dad?" Leelee asks. She's grown up so much since the last time I spent time with her. She's stunning. It's like talking to an adult now.
"As long as I need to, I suppose."
"Good. We'll be here a bunch, but we're not allowed to be here all the time," says Stella.
My heart breaks a little. "I'll take good care of him, I promise. He'll be good as new soon," I say, trying to convince both of us. Lindsey changes the subject, and we wrap up dinner. They all help clean up, and then Will checks his phone, reminding everyone that they have to leave.
"Stevie I love you." Stella grabs my waist and clings to me for a minute.
"I love you, too, baby."
After another round of tears and a lot of hugs and kisses, we get the kids to the car, and I promise them that they can text me any time to check on him, even when he can't talk to them. I let them teach me (again) how to do it, and hope it'll stick this time.
We watch Will pull out, and Lindsey puts his hand on the small of my back to guide me back inside. I try not to think too much about what happens tomorrow morning as we go to sleep.
6am comes really early, and after a series of alarms, we get up and dress ourselves. He's dawdling in the bathroom and I nudge him again. "The car is HERE, Lindsey. We're going to be late."
"Since when are you concerned with being punctual?"
"Life-threatening surgeries are not something I like to rush."
"I'm just impressed you're awake at this hour."
"You're acting like I went to sleep."
"Fair enough. Let's go,' he says, gesturing toward the door. He opens it for me and the driver opens the door for us, letting us both slide into the back seat.
"Are you scared?" I ask him, and he responds by grabbing my hand.
"No matter what happens today, it's going to be fine." He sounds delusional, but I'm too tired to pick a fight. "Do you remember how to send out the text to everyone to let them know how today goes?"
"No," I say, smiling sheepishly. "But Karen will help. She's meeting me at the hospital." He gives me a small laugh, then leans against the window. I just watch him. I know he can feel me staring at him, but he's not acknowledging me.
Before I know it, he's being wheeled away from me. I kiss him lightly on the lips, and he cups the side of my face. "I'll see you in a few hours, baby."
I nod, refusing to cry. He gives me goofy salute and I laugh a little, waving stupidly. Karen calls my name and offers me a cup of coffee, which I take gratefully, collapsing into the chair next to me. People are starting to stare at me, and I'm suddenly self conscious of my make up free face and my ponytail. I bury myself in a book.
Hours pass. I can't eat. I refuse to leave. A few people have stopped and stared, but thankfully, no one has spoken to me. Karen has been a good shield today. It's the longest few hours of my life. I glance at the clock for the thousandth time, wishing someone would come say something. Anything.
Finally, someone comes out. A woman about my size and considerably younger, her long red hair pulled into a ponytail. "Stephanie?" I look up, and she realizes I'm who she's looking for. "You're the emergency contact listed for Mr. Buckingham."
"Yes, that's right," I say quickly, jumping to my feet and pushing my bangs back anxiously. "How is he?"
"I am so sorry."
