shiver (FEATURED) | ✓

o21

vance

The grime coating my confinement suffocates me. Through the layers of dirt and grease, I can make out near-indistinguishable traces of gore on the walls, poorly scrubbed off by weakened fingers, or left there as a gruesome memento: a warning to me.

I stand in the center of my cell, a part of me wanting to withdraw into a corner, and my logical side telling me to stay put- that the dirt does not belong on my hands, that I will not submit to my barbaric captors. One might say- a witnessing passerby, for example, might claim that I went with them willingly, but I would disagree. I went to take a murderous load off of my shoulders- and now I am here, behind bars, an animal, in refusal to submit to anything but the glorious state of Tetrahmon.

And yet, I feel weak, I want to cave in, to give in, because my strength fails me. When they release me, I think, I must- I must go to the Bureau.

Being so far away from the glass of Tetrahmon weakens me. It is the state, the order, that gives me strength and power, and in this dark, cavernous area, there are only half-men who live here, men with no sense and no sight to see the promise of a better world that Tetrahmon - and solely Tetrahmon - brings.

I see the girl as both a saviour and my demise. The leer on her face, the malicious glint of her eyes- the twist of her grin- all of it encompasses her. She is a default. I have no trouble picking up the irony of the words she chooses to say. They're carefully chosen, jabbing, taunting, even, although I'm not the sort to get easily riled up by anyone's words.

Lion. If I'm a lion of sorts, I'm a tame one. In its cage, as the girl has told me. Evanna, that's her name. Ever since reading the file, I have come to the conclusion that such a petite name does not suit her; if anything, it lays a plaque of lies upon her face to mask a truly brilliant mind inside.

I have no doubts about how intelligent- and therefore dangerous- she is.

I cease my mumbling and look over to the trio. "I still don't understand what you want from me," I say, straightening up.

Evanna unwraps her fingers from around the bars and steps back to allow the dark-skinned man to speak. "We have a little mission for you." No. It cannot be possible. I will not betray them, I can't--

"What sort of mission is it?" Despite my will not to cooperate, I speak.

"The file," he says. "The chip that you found with Julian and Evanna- I need it. We need it."

"You mean her file."

"No, a book," Evanna cuts in sarcastically. "We're going to need a copy of the chip's contents- and all of it, not 'acceptable' snippets, mind you," she says, clearly speaking for Bernard. "Understand?"

I'm not particularly pleased with my assignment. To steal from the state is to steal from the Garden of Eden- there is no difference.

"I can't do that."

"Then you can stay here and we'll let the thermo-mutated rats eat at you," Evanna says. "You can watch them gnaw at your infected flesh, I'm sure that would make for an interesting sight."

"Thermo-mutated... rats?" I answer.

"Yes. What, did you think they'd go for genetic trials straightaway on humans without trying their chemicals out on animals first? I've heard that these mutated rats have turned carnivorous. They've adapted to whatever source of food the winter has left them, and that includes your flesh. That is, if you choose to act on your blind, stupid beliefs on Tetrahmon and you don't cooperate."

"That's enough, Evanna." The presence of Bernard's voice encompasses the solitary and dark atmosphere of my prison cell, but I can't wither underneath it now.

"Any copies of it- I'd be executed," I say, keeping my tone flat so none of them will have any opportunity to take a jab at my emotions.  I'm not ready to die, though, of that I am sure.

"Well then, I guess you'll just have to take extra precautions." Shoulder-to-shoulder with the girl, the pairing of Julian and Evanna is certainly an unfriendly one.

I say nothing.

"Right then. We done here, Bernard?" Julian asks, looking at me with a somewhat condescending glance.

I don't want to be left alone. Standing there in my cell, I try to reimagine the scenes that have left spatters of gore on the walls. Brain matter, perhaps? A cut, a deep wound, a shard of glass stuck in the forearm. Blood, blood, blood.

I wind my wingers back around the greasy bars and think of which way to die is better, because I am quite sure they will never let go of me, if not only to kill me.

I am more trapped than I have ever felt before in my life- and mentally trapped this time, unable to claw my way out of my cognition to place myself in a world where deciphering the code of my head is no longer such a problem, a world where the fingers of the ghosts of my past do not seek to drag me down with them.

And NW-60. That was my fault, too, and since I have now killed a man, I must give up and declare my illness before it engulfs me.

▿

When footsteps return, I recognise them as Bernard's, and I think that here lies my window for escape. However, nothing is ever so simple- but I have made up my mind, with Julie and Keira at the forefront of my mind.

"You said you were ill, didn't you?" Bernard says, as he swings open the barred door of my cell.

I nod, mute.

He smiles. "Well then, you should go get treated." With that, he leaves me standing there, and I know that stepping over the threshold of the prison cell will guarantee that my life in Tetrahmon will never be the same again.

And yet, I am obligated to keep my sanity; I must always remember that Tetrahmon is, and always will be, my redeemer.

A/N: there you go, here's your weekly dose of Shiver! I'm sorry if this chapter was a disappointment, but I've got a surprise in store for the next couple ones. Thank you for the continued support, you all have no idea how much it means to me! don't forget to vote + comment if you enjoyed this~

thank you <3