Once and Forever

Chapter 2; Down memory lane

"Caroline, please! I know you miss her, I miss her too! Terribly. But you need to stop crying. What would she think, if she'd see you. What if she's standing right next to us. We have to be strong. She saved us. We live because of Claire. We have to live for Claire, for us." Florence has her best friend in her arms now. We are still standing at my grave. Caroline has just put down her flower and could not keep it together anymore. If only she could feel my hand stroking her hair.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm going to control myself. Promise." Caroline answered sniffing and wiping her nose with her white handkerchief.

"I know I'm right." Florence padded her best friends cheek and showed her a small smile. I'm happy they still have each other. "Come on, Mrs. Amberwood is waiting for us."

Together, they make their way back to the car, where our headmistress waited patiently. The drive back to the orphanage is quiet. Everybody is stuck in their own thoughts and memories.

I'm, too, stuck in my memories of our days together. This ride home reminds me of the day our headmistress has caught us sneaking out on the weekend. If we wanted to leave the house, we had to ask a supervisor first and could only leave if there was a greater bid from us children. But we did not want to go out in groups anymore. It was a hot summer day and we just wanted to get an ice cream and walk along the streets for a bit. We managed to escape and get out our ice cream. In town we met a group of guys and being fifteen and interested in guys, we welcomed them to join us. We had a great time with many jokes to laugh at. Only it did not last long. We were soon spotted by one of our supervisors and were brought back to the mansion. We were punished with extra chores for four weeks, but it was worth it. We exchanged our phone numbers that day and stays in contact. After that we snuck out at night to meet them in the fields behind the orphanage. Those three boys were a perfect match for us three girls. We never got to the kissing part though. They stopped having interest in seeing us anymore, so we stopped writing altogether.

Coming up from my memory, I turn around and look at my two best friends in the backseat. Florence is sitting on the left side and Caroline on the right. They are both beautiful in their own way. Florence is the goddess of the dark for me. Her family is originated from India which gives her a touch of an Indic face and olive coloured complexion. Her long black wavy hair frames her beautiful face, highlighting her beautiful light grey eyes and full dark red lips. She looks similar to the girls in the Bollywood movies. She mainly wears black because of the death of her parents. She is not overly emotional and is very cautions with what she does. She never stops thinking about her next move; everything she does is carefully thought through.

Caroline on the other hand is a blubbering mess. She acts through emotions which makes her very compassionate. She has blond hair that reach over her shoulder blades. Her green eyes change colour with her mood. If she's angry they seem to be darker than normal and when she cries, they tend to get lighter, kind of washed out - like now. She has a small nose and thin rose coloured lips.

I miss them.

I'm only a meter away, but it feels like a thousand.

They are so important to me. They are my family. They are my sisters and I have lost them. Yes, I can still see them and touch them. I can talk to them and spend time with them. But it's all one-sided. They do not see me. They can't touch me. They talk to and spend time with me, without knowing it. Do I really want to live on like this?

"Remember the day we snuck out to get an ice cream?" Caroline asked, remembering the exact same day I had thought about just moments ago.

"Oh yes. And those boys. What where their names? Charles, Kevin and Matthew, right?"

"Yes. Yes. Those handsome little boys." She laughs. You could finally see her smiling again. The sight of her smile warms my heart.

"Remember Claire's first crush? We were eleven and James angered her all the time. She hated him so much and he kept on teasing her. And one day he did a one-eighty. He was the nicest guy. He helped her carrying her books, defended her honour and worshipped her. She fell so fast for him, she could not stop her feelings developing in his favour. At her twelfth birthday she finally admitted her feelings and he kissed her that night. She could not stop smiling. She couldn't stop smiling for a month."

"Or remember April fools day? We were only fourteen years old and she went to Mrs. Amberwood and confessed she's pregnant. Mrs. Amberwood flipped. And Claire just kept crying. She was so convincing I almost believed her, even though I was in on the joke."

"That was hilarious. I could not keep a straight face. I had to cackle all the time."

"I loved our bonfires in summer. And sleeping under the stars. It won't be the same without her. We talked about everything. I loved our conversations and how we needn't to feel any shame in what we wanted to know. I wish she has found her family on the other side."

"You know what I think?"

"What?"

"I honestly think she's still here. In fact, I bet she's sitting there in the passenger's seat and is listening to us right now. And you know what I'd like to think? I like to think of her happy. Smiling at us. Seeing us coming to term with her death and keeping her in our hearts. Knowing her as we do, I know she stayed to make sure we were doing alright."

"You really think she's here with us?"

"Yes." Florence says and turns her head in my direction. She smiles right at me and it feels like she can see me. "Hello Claire. We miss you so much. Thank you for staying and making sure we were living our lives to the fullest. I'll never forget the time we had together, sister."

"I love you too Claire! I'm so sorry I'm crying so much. I'm going to improve, promise. I'm so happy I got to become your sister, even though we had to go through such a bad time to get here."

I love you, too! I tell them, but they can't hear me.

*** Hey there :) please comment what you think about my story or writing style, if you'd think I should change something please tell me! I'm still a bit new to this and I'd love to hear what you think. Thank you for reading!***