Once and Forever

Chapter 3; I'm okay

It has only passed one month when they told me that someone has lived through the exact same thing as I did. They introduced me to a small black haired girl. She was crying so much I didn't think she could hear me when I spoke to her. But I stayed. I stayed day and night. I looked after her with all the adults around us. I still didn't trust them. They weren't my parents. They wanted to be parents to all of us.

It was hard looking after a seven-year-old girl when I was only eight myself. But having lost my family has changed me. I had to look out for myself now. And those nearest to me. Florence needed my help and I could give it to her.

The girl couldn't stop crying. She had tears falling her every waking minute until her body shut down and released her into a deep dreamless sleep. At least she didn't have to deal with the hunting nightmares every night like I had to. They still followed me and I still woke up every night, wet with sweat and a trembling body. It's amazing how your brain can trick you into such a cruel act. And those dreams harm you. They harm you mentally, they harm you physically.

But one day out of the blue, Florence stopped crying. She didn't smile, but at least she stopped crying. I was so glad that day. I didn't think I could have lasted one more day hearing her wails. So on that day, when I came into her room, prepared to go through our daily routine - (waking her up, having her start to cry, getting her out of bed and dressed, walking her to the dining room, having her not eat anything, having to force her to eat something) - I found her sitting on her bead, wide awake and dressed. I was so surprised I halted in her entrance and gaped at her.

"What?" She asked annoyed and got up.

"Nothing. I just thought..."

"Yeah, not today. Not ever again."

I did not understand what she meant by that, but I didn't want to ask. I didn't want her back in that hole. It seemed like she finally made it out and I will surely not push her back down.

She kept her promise. Everyday I opened the door after that, I found her like the first day, awake and dressed. She sat on her bed and waited for me. In the dining hall she ate like every other child and talked to everyone. She finally made it out.

One month after her arrival, the headmistress called us both back into her office. That was the day when we met the third and last victim. The blonde little girl did not cry like Florence did. But her big green eyes were torn open. You could have meant she was petrified to death, but exactly that happened, didn't it? Her parents were murder in front of her and she could not help it. Florence and I both knew who she felt. We both knew what she has seen to make her eyes that big.

Caroline had more trouble with sleeping. She did not speak to anyone, but did not want to be left alone either. So we took her everywhere we went. Florence and I talked to her, but we never expected an answer. We let her be. She would find her way back someday. She'll escape her nightmares.

Time passed and we adapted. We could not stay in the past, so we held together and put one foot in front of the other. One step at a time, until we found ourselves okay when our birthdays came around, until we found ourselves okay.

Nine years later and we still had each other. We could smile again, we could laugh again. We found the beauty in life. We found the beauty in friendship. We made it. We're okay.

I'm okay.