The Vampire Diaries Hangover - D. Salvatore

Meet Jade Saltzman

skip to best little chapel*

"What about the baby?" Ric asked
"Leave him in the car. We're gonna be 5 min" Damon said

geez so heartless..

"Whoa, we're not leaving a baby in the car!" I told him getting more angry
"He'll be fine. I cracked the window" Damon reasoned

"What if they don't remember us?" Jer asked
"Well, let's find out" I told him

"I'm sor.. Excuse me sir? Hi" Damon said
The guy turned around and starting screaming with an accent

"Ohhhh look at these guys! What happened you miss me? You miss Eddie? You want more from me?" He kissed Damon on the cheek and Damon pushed him away disgusted and he kissed me on the cheek too, I saw from the corner of my eye Damon getting jealous and he kissed Ric on both of his cheeks and gave him a hug

"How are you my friend? Look at this guy. You're fucking crazy!" Eddie said to Ric

"What's going on man?" Jer asked
"Oh hey Jeremy!! My man" Eddie said and gave him a hug too. He went back to Ric and faced all of us

"Listen, I'm gonna tell you something. I know some sick people in my life. But this guy is the craziest, wildest bastard I ever met in my life man." Eddie said referring to Ric

"What? This guy?" I asked pointing my thumb at Ric
"This guy is out of his mind" Eddie said laughing

"What's going on you fucking crazy motherfucker? I thought he was gonna eat my dick" Eddie said while laughing

"What happened? No love for Eddie? You don't hug me?" Eddie asked

"No no it's not that's Eddie" Ric said
"Uh it's just that we're having a hard time remembering what happened here last night." I explained

"Yeah was there a wedding here? Do you do weddings here?" Jeremy asked
"You are cracking my balls man" Eddie asked.

Suddenly he puts his arm around Damon and said
"Man you are one hell of a lucky guy, if I was you I'd fuck her brains out all day everyday" whoa.. Too far buddy

"Actually.." I was gonna say but Damon interrupted me
"I dare you to repeat that"

"Oh sorry man I was just trying to say she's very beautiful, didn't stop you from fucking her against the wall, and that chair and that bench last night" Eddie said pointing to each thing

"Whoa!! What?!" I asked with wide eyes. God how many times did me and Damon have sex last night!!? I looked at Damon and he's smirking at me

"We might have to do a repeat Nicole..you know to fresh my memory" Damon flirted

"you guys are like little horny teenagers" Jeremy said.

I smacked him on the head wtf is wrong with this kid

"Anyway back to the subject, obviously we were here. We're looking for our friend Stefan" Ric says

"Oh yeah the frown lines guy!" Eddie said. Ahahah frown lines! Great description there Eddie I'm gonna have to use that sometime.