Finding My Feet

Chapter Sixteen

"So," I say, breaking the tensed silence.
Reegan glances at me before turning into an empty parking lot, stopping the car. He takes his seatbelt off, turning to me. I copy him.
"What's going-"
I'm cut off by his lips suddenly pressing onto mine and I tense up, my eyes widening. His eyes were closed and his hair was brushing against my forehead. He kept his lips on mine and out of habit I relaxed, fluttering my eyes closed and moving my lips with the same urgency as him.
I was soon half way onto his seat, our lips still moving together, our tongues twirling. His hands were hooked onto the bottom of my shirt, making it tug up. My one hand was in his hair and the other was wrapped around the back of his neck.
I pulled away, gasping for air and his lips devoured my jaw, traveling to my neck. After I caught my breath, I moved his lips back onto mine, passion igniting in my body.
He grunted, reluctantly ending the kiss and leaned his head against the head rest. He put his palm on my cheek, cradling my face.
"I love you, Bam," he whispered. "Always know that."
I nodded, leaning into his hand and closing my eyes, my breathing going back to normal.
He gently shoved me back onto the passenger seat, fixing his pants afterwards. I laughed at him
"It's not funny," he suppressed a smile. "It shows that I still want you, hey?"
"I guess," my laughter dies down. "What's going on?"
"Your mom called me," he sighs."Told me how completely unhappy you are because we never get a chance to talk alone and you need to discuss important things with me. She asked me when I would be alone again and I said today cause my dad and stepmom are out and the whore is at school. Your mom begged me to come see you. My heart broke when I heard how depressed you've gotten."
"I'm not depressed," I mumble.
"Sage called me after your sleepover," he looked at me. "Told me how you bawled your eyes out for a good hour and a half. I knew you couldn't be fine after that."
I played with my thumbs, a knot forming in my stomach.
"I'm sorry I didn't try talk to you after that. I'm sorry I've been such a shitty person. I'm sorry that I was such a horrible boyfriend," he says, lifting my chin up with his fingertips. "I would do anything to make things right again. Even if it means I have to stay your friend for the rest of my life."
"I don't want you to be my friend," I glance into his captivating blue eyes as his black eyebrows ruffle together."I want us to be together, Reegan. I love you. So, so much. I'm just scared that this all happens again."
"I won't let it," he says. "I've lost you. And I'm trying to get you back. I know it's a very shit way of trying but I am. And I don't want to lose you again."
I shrugged, chewing on my bottom lip.
"What's bothering you?" He moved my tousled hair away from my face. "Your lip is almost bleeding."
"Well, what about Kelly?" I ask. "I don't trust her and I don't know if I'm gonna be able to trust you around her."
"I'm not going to do anything with her, Bam," he brushes his fingers along my shoulder.
"Because she's a freshman?" I sarcastically say.
He pulls his arm back to him, leaning away from me.
"I'm not going to fight with you," he says. "Stop being so stubborn and just listen for once."
"You're fucking rude," I snap.
"You aren't even giving me a chance, Amber," he raised his voice.
"You aren't proving to me that I can trust you since you keep going back to her," I defend. "Every time we talk, she interrupts somehow and you always go back to her. And I'm not talking about you two living together. At my sleepover, you even rushed to her side when she was the wrong one. She strings along with you everywhere and you want me to believe there's nothing going on?"
"You know what, I'm sick of being stringed along by you. One minute you want to get back together and the next you're getting upset over nothing at all. I'm so fucking sick of this bullshit," he yells.
"Well so am I!" I yell back. "Every damn time I try talk to you, something happens so maybe it's best if we just don't get back together again."
"Fine," he hisses, shoving the gear into reverse and speeding out of the parking.
My hands grip the leather of the seat as Reegan speeds over the limit.
"I knew it was a fucking bad idea to do this," he mutters. "But instead I have to trust my feelings about you. And I hope so fucking bad that we can sort shit out but it always ends like this."
He was about forty over the speed limit and I felt tears building in my eyes, memories flooding into my mind of my car crash.
"Please stop," I whimper, starting to hyperventilate.
He glances at me, anger written all over his face and does a double take. He slams on the breaks, rearing to the side of the road. As soon as the car stops, I launch out of it, emptying my stomach on the grass.
I lean backwards, my back hitting the tire of the car and cry hard, my breathing coming out ragged. Reegan shuffles next to me and I look at him through my tears before shoving my face into my hands.
"I'm sorry," he says. "What's happening? What's upsetting you so much?"
I shake my head as I try to control my breathing. He waits silently.
"You can't do that," I mumble, my voice thick. "You can't go so fast. We both weren't wearing a seatbelt. Do you not realize what could have happened?"
Realization floods his face and he pulls me to him.
"I'm so sorry, it's my fault that you're like this," he kisses my head. "I promise I won't do that to you again."
I sniff, nodding slightly.
"Are you okay?" He asks after several silent minutes and I nod again.
He helps me back onto my feet and then lifts me into the car, clipping my seatbelt in. When he gets in, the first thing he did was clip his seatbelt in as well.
"Do you want to go home?" He asks and I nod.
He sighs, going below the speed limit this time.
"I'm sorry, Bam, I really am," he shakes his head. "I let my temper get the best of me. I want to work things out, I promise."
I nod at him before looking out the window, just wanting to get home.