Cassandra

XX. Who Is My Brother's Keeper?

"Cas..." It was my brother's voice, and I felt a hand gently shaking my shoulder. "Come on Cas."
My head hurt, the inside of my skull throbbing, livid swirls of color dancing against the inside of my eyelids. The smell of dry earth pushed through the fog of my senses, and I could feel rough grime pressed against my face. I was lying on my side, with my face pressed into the dirt, and when I tried to stir or raise myself I couldn't move my arms. They were pinioned behind my back, and my legs were tied together, so that any movement had to be accomplished like a worm, wriggling on my stomach.
Delilah, also tied with rope, was unconscious in the dirt a few feet away, bloodied, and missing one arm at the shoulder that had been crudely bandaged. I was back in the dirt tunnels that the Briarwood's had carved out, several of Percy's friends were holding torches, and Grog was holding the flaming head of his iron hammer as a light. My brother was kneeling over me, for I could feel his shadow looming over my body.
"Percy?" I whispered, his face coming into focus.
"You and I will have a discussion later." My brother said soberly, gently lifting me until I was leaned back against the dirt wall of the tunnel, and he leaned back on his heels. "In the meantime do you know what that thing in there is?"
"I don't--" My head continued to throb, and I tried to clear it, struggling to remember the clouded events of the last few hours. "What's going on? What happened?"
"You betrayed some bitches that's what you did." Grog said darkly.
Oh, God...
If Grog had chosen to drive a blade through my stomach, it could hardly have wounded me more deeply than his words. I flinched, shrinking as the full knowledge of my betrayal sank into me. Just as had happened so many times before, unwanted tears that I could neither contain or control rose to the surface against my will. I fervently wished that I was dead. Or so heartbroken I could no longer feel such pain.
"I'm sorry--" The words were useless. If Lord Briarwood's forgiveness had been earned, Percy's would be impossible to buy back. There was nothing I could ever say or do that would heal this breach. "Percy I--"
He slapped me.
The flat of his palm struck across my cheek, leaving my skin burning, and even though the strike was not forceful, it recalled me to myself. Like a sharp spice, the pain cleared my brain, and I felt myself regain some measure of self possession. I took a deep breath, settling myself firmly.
"I need my sister back." Percy said, reaching out to grasp me by the shoulders, and trying to catch my eye. "Are you awake? Are you a terrible person? Do I want to strangle you right now?"
"Probably..." I murmured with a humorless laugh. For a moment I tried to meet his eyes, but I couldn't hold his gaze, and I fixed my attention on the dirt.
"Good! Then we can work with this." Percy declared with morbid good cheer. "They were building something down here. The Briarwoods are no longer a problem, but they were building something. What do you know about it?"
"I don't know anything." I said, shaking my head, and I shrugged as best as I could through the ropes around my arms. "They wouldn't let me near it."
"Don't lie to us anymore!" Vex'ahlia burst out harshly, her face and whole stance accusatory, all the distrust my betrayal had created on full display.
"I'm not lying! Do I have a reason to lie right now?"
"You really seem to believe your words," Vax said, taking his sister's part. "But your word is worth fuck all right now."
I nodded, resigning myself to the distrust. "I know..." Wearily I leaned my head back against the earthen wall of the tunnel, closing my eyes. "All that I know, is that they've been building it under the guidance of some other person, or entity. They referred to Him many times as the Whispered One, but they were very secretive about it. The only reason I knew anything was because I'd overheard a few conversations, and questioned them about it. For which...there was punishment..." I shivered, remembering that miserable afternoon.
"But they mainly kept me to try and keep the people at bay." I finally continued. "My job was to keep in contact with those that would rise against them, and foil them. Prevent any surprises. Although thankfully I didn't do a very good job." I laughed bitterly, casting my eye over the assembled heroes around me.
Scanlan during the latter part of my explanation had been completely oblivious. Like some kind of faked up magician, he had dropped to one knee, and with a flourish pressed a finger into either side of his temples. Suddenly he came out of this theatrical meditation, and threw his arms out triumphantly
"Ah! The Whispered One! This draws a memory!" He said, wriggling his fingers in front of his forehead. "I don't know where I learned of this knowledge...I am very old...But at some point I remember reading, or hearing something about a Lich, who wanted to be a god. His name was Vecna, and they called him the Whispered One. Thats all I remember. He tried to achieve great power, and I don't know if he was successful or not."
"Oh boy..." Keyleth said gloom settling over her.
"Cassandra," Vex said, turning to me, "does any of that sound familiar?"
"Honestly, I didn't know anything beyond the name." I said regretfully. "I only knew that they were very close with this individual."
"When you betrayed us," Vex began, and I flinched as soon as she mentioned it, guilt, and burning poisonous shame coiling in my gut. "You said you were serving a higher purpose. Did they plan to sacrifice you to him?"
"There was a blood ritual involved, but didn't know more than that." I said shrinkingly. "There was to be a gift of power, should I give an element of my life to this ritual..."
A garish image of the Ziggurat's ritual chamber rose in my mind, and I shuddered, flinching away from the memory. It made me sick to think that I had ever offered to be a part of it.
"I feel like I wasn't right in my head," I murmured. "I look back on so many decisions I made...and all the people that I've..."
Oh God...I closed my eyes, trying to hold back fresh tears. What have I done...
"You've backed a loosing team, and that's not surprising, having been through what you have." Vax'ildan said gently, sitting down in front of me. His eyes when I met them were less steely and accusatory than they'd been before, and there was a flicker of understanding that the others lacked. Silas had charmed him too. "That's all gone now, Silas is gone." He pointed back down the tunnel in the direction of the Ziggurat. "Delilah is on deaths door." He pointed at her, and I followed his gesture, looking down at the woman who had taken such disgusting advantage of me. She was awake. Still lying exactly as they had left her, with her eyes closed, cleverly feigning sleep, but underneath her dark lashes I caught the glitter of eyes.
"Whitestone needs to be tended to, and protected." Vax said, and the name of my city recalled my attention to his face. "Do you know anything that could help us save your birthright, here and now?"
"Well you've already done half the job." I said coldly, looking pointedly down at Delilah. Her eyes flickered up to my face as I spoke, and I shuddered as soon as I met her look, feeling a mingled sense of fear and loathing.
"You can't think of any reason they would want to sacrifice you in particular?" Keyleth asked, and I shook myself, breaking my eyes away from Delilah's .
"They spoke very little, intentionally I think, of what they wanted to do." I said, shaking my head. "To be honest, I think there was an element of it, that even they didn't know what they were doing. I was a tool, I was to be used, I had my purpose and I did my best to fulfill it."
"I've got a question." Grog said matter of factly. "D'you care if I smash the shit out of Lady Briarwood's 'ead now?"
I laughed at myself bitterly. Even now, after everything she'd done to me, my weakness still clung to her. As if she hadn't stripped me of everything I owned, my city, my friends, my family. Even myself...but I knew what had to be done...
"Someone needs to avenge my family." I stated, and finally, finally, I locked eyes with my brother.
Percy said nothing. He was withdrawn into himself, his eyes distant, as he sank into his thoughts. A swirl of dark smoke caught my eyes, and I looked down startled. Black vapor was beginning to coalesce around his gun and the hand that was holding it. I had never seen my brother's weapon so close, and with a start I realized that my name was carved on one of the barrels, just underneath another barrel with the inscription Lady Delilah Briarwood. My eyes darted back to my brothers face searchingly, but concern overrode my own questions. Percy's eyes had turned black, no iris, his eyes were two pools of inky darkness.
Moving so suddenly it made me jump, Percy rose, and crossed the tunnel to where Delilah was still lying limp and unmoving. Kneeling over her, placing his weapon against her forehead, he drew back the pistol's hammer with a loud click. I steeled myself for the gunshot, and the others started forward, as if to stop him.
"Wait, Percy," Scanlan exclaimed, "you're going to shoot an unarmed woman?"
"Unarmed?" Grog shot back indignantly. "She tried to kill us."
"You changed the deal." Percy said coldly, speaking out into the empty air. "Take her name off of the gun."
"Who's he talking to?" Grog asked, filling a long silence that fell after Percy had spoken, and he glancing doubtfully at the others.
"--Things have changed," my brother stated. Still not paying any heed to the rest of us, my brother suddenly pulled the gun away, gently easing the hammer back into its resting state. "We need to talk."
"Whoa," Vex'ahlia said. "Alright..."
"Who is he talking to?" Scanlan asked, with growing volume and urgency. Vax impatiently shushed the group, throwing out his arms to quiet his unsettled companions. Everyone fell silent, the tunnel going so quiet, you could have heard a pin drop.
"--Did I even want revenge before I talked to you?!?" Percy burst out savagely, speaking to the silence, and he grew restless, agitatedly casting about among his own inner thoughts. "Did I? I don't remember anymore. What does she die for? What do I even need? I want my country, I want my sister...I have killed two of those who have wronged me, and nothing is better, nothing feels better. Nothing is avenged." With another sudden movement, he put the gun back to Delilah's head, once again drawing back the hammer, on the point of shooting her, and violently demanded. "What is this worth to you?"
"--Maybe I will--" Percy placed the gun against his own temple.
"Percy don't!" I exclaimed struggling against my bonds, but my brother waved me back, effectively silencing me.