perfect → lashton ✓

ten

Ashton's POV

Luke hadn't been home, he'd been ignoring my calls and texts and I didn't like it.

It felt somewhat ironic that I didn't like the thought of him being off with someone else when I'd been the one doing exactly that to him for months. It seemed only now I was realising my own hypocrisy. However, I knew Luke wouldn't cheat on me because that's just not in his nature, and as far as I'm aware he didn't know about my wrong doings.

I know he left because of the whole thing at the restaurant and he was upset with me for how I was acting but I guess I don't know why I did it. Ellie had been working and I knew that, part of me wanted to show her that I'd chosen Luke and that what me and her shared was over, but it's not like she knew about Luke in the first place to take that hint. Clearly I was no stranger to being an idiot.

If I could change what I'd done with her then I would, I wasn't ready to let Luke go for my complete lapse in judgement. All I'd wanted was something more exciting, something Luke wasn't giving to me and in my head, I'd only planned to do it once so I didn't just want to dump Luke out of nowhere. The problem was that I'd been sleeping with Ellie for a number of months now, I'd found it hard to try and break it off because I was going to have to face the reality of what I'd done.

Luke and I had been together three years and I haven't loved anyone more than I love him, and it pains me that I've almost ruined that now because I couldn't keep it in my pants or I could just talk to him. I'd been hurting him for months, and I'd only just admitted that to myself because I know Luke deserves better, he's always deserved better than me and so now the thought of losing him completely through something I'd done at my own admission felt horrible. I couldn't blame anyone else but me.

However, I could potentially salvage this if Luke didn't know what I'd done, I could just pretend none of this had happened and move on. Doing this would mean I'd have to further lie to him but if it protected him from further hurt then it was worth it.

I'd already called Luke earlier but I thought it wouldn't hurt to try again, I just needed to hear him. Pulling out my phone, I pressed Luke's number and this time, he answered.

"Hello?" Luke answered the call and I felt myself let out a relieved breath.

"Luke, baby, where are you? Are you okay?" I asked, sounding more worried than I'd initially wanted to.

"I'm fine, why are you calling?" He sounded harsh and I was quite shocked at that, I knew he was annoyed at me but to be so brash on the phone wasn't like him.

"Because you disappeared on me the other day after getting home from the restaurant and you haven't been replying to me, I was worried." I admitted.

Luke seemed to let out a sigh, "I'll be over later and we can talk then, okay?" He suggested, and I smiled at the answer.

"Okay, I'll see you later then." I said, "I love y-" I then started but Luke hung up. That was how I knew just how angry he was at me, Luke always said 'I love you' at the end of phone conversations and to have him cut me off was a clear sign that I'd upset him greatly.

Sighing, I pulled up the contacts on my phone again but this time it was to call Ellie. The way to fix the situation with Luke would have to start by getting rid of Ellie, I didn't know how she'd take the news but I didn't care if it meant I got to keep Luke. Don't get me wrong, she is a lovely girl but she deserved better than me as well, she deserved someone who could start a relationship being honest with her and not have it built on lies like me.

Taking a deep breath, I pressed Ellie's number and held the phone up to my ear, she answered on the third ring.

"Hey, Ashton." She sounded quite down.

"Hey, Ellie, is it alright if we talk?" I asked before biting my lip, I know it sounded ridiculous to break up with someone over the phone, but I just couldn't face her and then face Luke.

"Yeah, I just got home, why are you calling?" She asked and it was obvious she was annoyed about something, I just didn't have time to ask.

"I-I want to break up, stop whatever we've been doing." I said, taking a few more deep breaths afterwards.

Ellie didn't answer for a few moments, "I'm glad we're on the same wavelength here, I want to break up too."

I was a little surprised to hear that but I didn't blame her, she'd seen Luke at the restaurant yesterday and had sent me numerous texts about it because she was obviously hurt and confused about what I was doing with someone else.

"That makes this a little easier then, I guess." I laughed lightly, "And I don't want to be cliché but it definitely wasn't because of you that I reached this decision."

"I know." Was her response but I didn't have time to question her on that before she spoke again, "But who were you with yesterday?"

I didn't want to tell her, I didn't know if it'd hurt her too, but I couldn't keep on lying to everyone and at the end of the day, this mess was mine to fix. "My boyfriend." I answered, finally being honest with her about something.

"So this is because of him?" Ellie then asked and I was surprised that she didn't sound shocked at the news.

"I love him, I just don't know what I was thinking, I've lied to you both and for that, I'm sorry." I said, tears starting to well up in my eyes at the realisation that what I'd done with her hurt more than just Luke.

"I'm not mad, I'm glad you finally told me but you need to apologise to him, get down on your knees and beg him if you have to." She said, "Fix the pain that you've caused, because he deserves better than this and you know that."

"I know, I'm gonna make things right." I said and she just said 'goodbye' before hanging up.

Telling her hadn't eased my worries, she had been more accepting than I anticipated, and I didn't know how to feel about it. I deserved her yelling and screaming at me but I guess she didn't want to be with me just as much as I didn't want to be with her.

Fixing my relationship with Luke was now my biggest concern and I had to think about whether or not I wanted to be honest with him or if I just wanted to ignore it and try and fix it from the point of view that I'd been a bit distant with him recently. Ellie's words indicated that I should be honest with him and get him to either forgive me or at the very least, get him to understand that I was sorry and make him believe me.

Either way, I had to make things right with Luke and just hoped he'd forgive me because I couldn't lose him.

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Really short, I'm sorry. However, I haven't done Ashton's POV in ages so I'm hoping you guys like the direction he's gone in of regret and he's realised he does love Luke and doesn't want to lose him. What do you think about that?

Anyway, please let me know what you think, thank you xx