The Loser in the End--The Sequel

If Only

Your boss was waiting for you with a serious look on her face when you got to the office.

"I'm sorry," she shrugged. "There's nothing I can do. I tried.  Go clean your desk out."

You hung your head. You understood your boss was just doing what she was told. You went into your office and cleaned out your desk, then said goodbye to everyone who happened to be around.

Great. You really needed this job, and decent jobs were hard to come by. There was nothing left to do now but go home and try to start over. You were still confused as to why the Editor had insisted you be at that photoshoot in the first place.

Your day went from bad to worse when you got home to find a notice on your door from the landlord. Your rent was being raised. There was definitely no way you could afford this place now...

You collapsed onto the bed and just let the tears flow in defeat. How could your life gotten so out of control so fast? The answer was clear: Freddie. He made you impetuous. He made you do things you wouldn't normally do, and now you were paying the ultimate price. Still, even knowing this, you couldn't help the way you felt. You had loved him back then, and you loved him even more now. There was no denying it...

You looked sadly around your apartment. You were really going to miss this place. Without a job, you would be forced to move to the suburbs, and maybe even out of New York altogether.

Presently, you noticed someone was knocking on your door. You wiped your eyes and opened it, seeing not just one, but two delivery men holding three dozen red roses.

"Flower delivery, m'am." One of the guys said.

"Oh!" you smiled. "This is a surprise..."

"Someone must really love you," the guy said.

Now you felt even worse than before. No doubt the roses were from Brian, and you didn't even deserve them. You opened up the enclosed card and read it. It slowly dropped from your hand. The roses weren't from Brian, they were from Freddie...

You bent and picked up the card, reading it again with a trembling hand.

"You're amazing, love F,"  the card read. You read it over and over again. Those two simple but powerful words: "You're amazing."  How could two little words brings such joy and such sorrow...

The phone rang and you jumped. You answered it tentatively.

"Hi darling," Freddie said with his posh accent. "I trust you got the flowers I sent."

"Oh..." you laughed nervously, hiding your emotion. "Yes, thank you. They're incredibly beautiful..."

"I hope you don't have any plans tonight," he said.

"No...no I don't..."

"Good," he said, "Because I'd love to take you to dinner."

After the two of you hung up, you burst into tears again. Your whole life was crashing around you. You were going to have to tell him about Brian, and it would have to be tonight.  You had no other choice. The last thing you wanted was for him to hear about it from Brian himself.  If only you hadn't allowed Brian to seduce you. If only you hadn't agreed so quickly to be his girlfriend.  If only you'd asked him to let you think about it.  If only Freddie had sought you out when he learned you were living in New York...

  If only...