What's The Worst That I Could Say?

Chapter 2- Welcome home

The present...

The journey down was fine, Gran and I had an emotional goodbye, but I knew I'd see her again pretty soon. Mom met me at the airport, and literally flung her arms around me when we were face to face. She told me she'd missed me and that she was glad I was home, and pulled me away to stare down at my body. She also told me that I'd grown so much, which I had- I was 5'0 the last time I saw her, and now I was 5'4, almost the exact same height as mom.

Although, I could tell she was nervous that I'd whip out a knife or something and threaten to end this shit now if things didn't go my way. 

We quietly walked back towards the car, a small smile on her face as I stared blankly away, a weird, painful feeling inside of me. I was back in Belleville, and I really, really didn't want to have this car journey I was about to have with my mother; as I knew it would be as awkward as hell.

I shoved my suitcase into the trunk of the car and shut it, walking around the passenger side and sliding in as she turned they key in the ignition.

"Was it a good plane journey?" She asked me after I'd shut the door and done my seatbelt up. 

"Yeah, they provided decent coffee," I shrugged. She smiled slightly.

"Gerard likes coffee, he comes round often," She mused. I nodded once. 

"How...how is he?" I whispered. She threw a glance at me and then concentrated on the road.

She sighed. "He seems fine, but it's as if he's hiding something. He's cut a few pounds too-"

"Mom," I shook my head. "Gerard wasn't fat,"

She laughed. "No, he wasn't, you're right, but he was chubby. Now he's quite handsome, but it'd be much nicer if he'd cut that mop of hair he has," She agreed. "Honestly, it's so dark and long-"

Dark? My heart raced a little in my chest as I felt a smile growing on my face. "He's finally dyed his hair black..." I trailed off. Gerard always used to have very dark brown hair, but he wanted it to be jet black, and he'd always talked about dying it with me. He was almost envious of my hair at the time...

"Yeah, although, it's not much of a change though. I just wish he'd cut it...anyway, Mikey has grown! And so has his little friend Frank- although, not as much as Mikey. Frank's probably an inch taller than you...or maybe the same. I'm not sure,"

I laughed. "He'd be fifteen now, right?" I murmured, and she nodded back. I stared out the window and sighed to myself, continuing to speak. "And what about you, mom? How're you?"

"Nervous." She blurted out. "N, No, not like that-but..."

"It's okay," I assured her. "I understand, and mom...I just wanted to say sorry for everything." I whispered as she pulled up to the house, cutting the ignition. "I- I can't explain how sorry I am, but I just want you to know that I'll never do that to you again; I promise."

I watched as a single tear slipped down her cheek, and she nodded. "Okay...right, well, lets get you inside," She clapped her hands a few times, trying to quickly change the subject. I laughed a little. Good old mom...

I opened the door and slid out from the car, shutting it behind me and glancing around the familiar neighbourhood that'd haunted my dreams quite a lot throughout the four years. I then turned to the house. I wanted to throw up; I felt so dizzy and unsure of my surroundings. I wanted to climb back into the car and crawl into a tiny ball in the back seat, sobbing and begging to go back to Wisconsin. I hated this...so why was I here?

To make amends with Gee and Mom. My fears didn't matter right now, they did. I was doing this for them.

Mom opened the trunk and pulled my suitcase out from it, slamming it shut after and about to walk off with it, but I quickly grabbed it myself and ignored her protests. Wheeling it to the front door, mom fumbled with her keys while I stared up at the house, squinting at it's features. Nothing seemed to have changed, it was still the same house from my memories.