HappyFace | Ashton Irwin

please read

okay so like sorry this isn't an update but like i need to say something

so basically someone messaged me and they were all like "you shouldn't be writing about things you don't understand or haven't been through. "

like okay tf

do you know me ? no. do you know my story ? no. do you have any fucking idea about who i am ? hell fucking no.

so i'm going to explain(:

yes, i have an eating disorder.

i cannot explain how hard it is for me to admit that.

but i just did.

it's taken me a really long time to admit that i have a problem and even try to get better, but i am now.

not for my own sake, but for the people around me.

i understand what it's like to live in the hell that is anorexia. i understand what it's like to have food on your mind at all times. i understand how hard it is to eat just a few crackers. i understand the horrible feeling that comes with binging and purging. i understand what it's like to have an eating disorder, because i'm going through it right now.

and it fucking sucks.

that's the only way i can explain it.

it just sucks.

but it's okay, because i know i deserve it.

okay so now self harm. yes, i have been through this.

i'll be three months clean on thursday.

i started self harming when i was in 6th grade and i'm in eighth grade now.

i've been making a huge effort to stop since around this time in 7th grade.

okay so substance abuse.

there's never been a point where i was really "addicted" i use you could say to alcohol or drugs..

but i have used them in ways that i shouldn't have.

i've educated myself on this topic, so i would know more about it. i haven't exactly been through it, but i have a pretty good idea of what it's like.

obviously, i'll never be able to fully understand what it's like because i've never been through it, but still.

abusive relationships are something that i have experienced

it's something that i have a hard time talking about, so i'm not going to say much

but a few years ago i was in an abusive relationship and i do understand what it's like

so the last thing is anxiety

YES I UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE ANXIETY

ANXIETY FUCKING SUCKS OKAY

I HAVE HAD REALLY BAD ANXIETY MY WHOLE LIFE AND ALTHOUGH I HAVE FOUND WAYS TO COPE AND GET BETTER WITH IT I STILL STRUGGLE W IT A LOT

SO PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT I SHOULDNT BE WRITING ABOUT THINGS I DONT UNDERSTAND

BECAUSE I AM I KNOW A LOT ABOUT EVERYTHING I WRITE ABOUT

I WRITE THESE STORYS NOT ONLY FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT, BUt TO EDUCATE AND SPREAD AWARENESS

i put myself into these characters. what i write is never entirely fiction. a lot of what i write about has happened to me, or someone i know.

maybe it's my lack of creativity, or maybe it's just my way or ranting.

please don't tell me that i shouldn't be writing about things that i don't understand or haven't been educated on when you don't even know me.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

-ARIEL

also just a little disclaimer im not posting this for sympathy or attention or anything like that, i'm just posting this to clear things up x