Unraveled

Chapter 4

21 Days Until...

Brooke

3 days later, and I'm still kind of shocked that Josh fought Evan and won. Our homework session didn't work out to well and he's coming over to hang out in a few minutes. It's Thursday, four days since Josh came to town and messed with the normality of everything. Everyone's been avoiding him and he and I have gotten really close. I'm really surprised he hasn't left yet. Josh doesn't comment much on the fact that my parents are almost never around, which is good. I really don't want to talk about that. I also don't want to talk about how I'm still cutting, just on my thighs though since he checks my wrists and he'd be pissed if he found something there. I trust him, I just want to avoid that topic. Speak of the devil, he's walking over now. "Hey Brooke." He says as he just walks in, so nonchalantly, already acting at home here. "Hey Josh, what's up?"

"Just finished my homework, have you done yours yet?" We decided it was best to do that separately since we got so distracted the first time. "Yeah, not yet." He chuckles, a deep throaty one. He almost never laughs, just chuckling. "Better hop on that homework, unless you want to hop on something else." Oh my god. Did he actually just say that? I can legit feel my face turning bright red and he winks at me. "Josh!" I slap him. What? It's the only thing I could actually think of doing... "Aw, look, you're already screaming my name."

"Shut up Josh. That really wasn't needed." I morph my face into a pouting look and slide away from him. "Brooke, c'mon don't be like that. I know you want this package of sexiness, and I'm sorry for continuing to be so inappropriate little miss innocent." He pulls me over to him wrapping his arm around me. This boy is going to be the death of me. "It's fine Josh." He goes to kiss my cheek, and then he's tickling me! This ass is fucking tickling me. I laugh and fall back and he tackles me and keeps me there, straddling me. "Josh, please stop!" I shrieks and he laughs at that, for once it's not a chuckle. He stops tickling me and looks me in the eyes, all of a sudden the mood changing as I sit there gasping for breath, which I have a feeling I'll be doing again in a few seconds. He bends down, I don't understand how he can't hear my heart racing in my chest. "Brooke." He says simply, a slight growl to his voice. And then his lips are on mine, soft and gentle almost not there. It doesn't last long, only a few seconds. But through the entire thing it's like electric currents are shooting throughout my entire body in little spurts. He pulls away, both of us breathless and wanting more than just that one, but he sits up and off me, as soon as he does I sit up and my fingers unconsciously touch my lips. Like, oh my god. "Josh." I whisper. "Sorry, I umm...don't know what I was thinking." His face is bright red now, and it's completely adorable. "Don't be sorry, Josh. That was...incredible."

"Hell yeah it was, but I should have asked first." A shy smile crosses his face and he comes over by me again. "I like you a lot Brooke, I don't know if I've fallen completely for you yet, but I'm definitely headed there. And I know that this might be too soon or something, but honestly? I don't care." His honesty is downright shocking, each word bringing an individual mini high or mini low. "Josh, I don't know what to say." Which is the truth, I like him a lot, but... I don't know. "That's okay Brooke, I can wait. I can totally wait, I think I need a little more time too." Part of me thinks he's just saying that for me and the other part thinks it's because of his dead ex. "When do you want to go horseback riding this weekend?" I ask him. "Saturday is good Brooke." He smiles at me, lighting up his own face. "Awesome. Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did Brooke. But yes, you can ask another one." He smirks at me, that boy is too damn cocky. "What was her name, the one who was yours before she died?"

"Her name was Ariel, she was sweet and kind. Never did anything wrong. She was a happy little ball of light until a few months ago when she found out her mom had cancer. Then she became depressed and it was very very hard to get her to smile." He sits down next to me, his eyes watering up. "She never cut or stopped eating or anything, but the day she found out her mom only had a few weeks left she started acting weird. I kept asking her if she needed anything, she always told me no thank you. Then she started avoiding me as much as she could. Whenever I did see her, she was strange. Not even close to the girl I fell in love with. The afternoon she well... you know, I went to go check on her. That's when I saw the drugs in her hand, well the empty bottle of pills. And the bottle of vodka, completely empty. She started convulsing and I didn't know what to do, I held her in my arms and called 911. We were all too late to save her. She died in my arms that day and it's all my fault."

"Josh, it isn't your fault. She chose to do the drugs."

"If I had been there for her more and had gone over to her house sooner, it wouldn't have happened. She would be alive right now and her dad wouldn't be all alone. His child is gone, abd his wife will be soon." I wrap my arms around him, holding him close to me, not ever wanting to let him go. "Josh you gave her plenty of opportunities to talk to you. She's the one who made the choice not to talk to you."

"I guess so, but that doesn't mean that I don't feel guilty about it."

"Which I completely understand. I just want you to trust me. I'm not going to leave and I care a hell of a lot about you Josh. You know that right?" He smiles at me. "Yea, I know. Thanks Brooke, and umm... Would you like to go out to dinner after horseback riding?" Oh god, he just asked me out. Cue the blushing and happiness. "Yes please." Yes please? Seriously could I be any smoother? Like seriously. "Awesome, I can't wait." He smiles again and pulls me in close, nuzzling his face into my neck.