Ibiki's daughter

21: My inner self

Jolin's POV

A week has passed since I had returned from my second mission with the Uchiha Police force team. I am more than happy to go home, eat dinner with my father, and sleep in my room. 

Wonderful. 

Now, the problem I have right now is that today, Sasuke and I have to present our research project together. Basically, when Iruka Sensei calls on our names, we're supposed to go up front, show our results, and orally tell the class about our project. 

Just like back in Class E. 

Anyways, Father gave me a final squeeze around my petite body in a loving hug and left for work. 

"Bye!" 

As soon as the door slammed shut, I suddenly felt a need to throw up. I raced to the bathroom toilet and emptied the breakfast there. "Gross," I muttered, cleaning after myself. I rinsed my mouth, brushed my teeth, and went to my room to grab my backpack for school. 

I was about to grab my usual assassin tools like I always did, when I held myself back. 

"No, I can't." Muttering those few words, I reminded myself that no matter what, I could not lose self control and randomly kill people everywhere I see, just to keep myself sane. 

Even if it made me sick. 

And even if it killed me. 

"Hi-um- Jolin! Right?" A blond boy yelled a greeting at me. "I can run faster than you or Sasuke!" 

"Good for you," I responded calmly. 

"So I challenge you to a race!" 

"Okay." I stopped right next to the boy. "But what's your name?" 

The boy glared at me briefly before boasting, "You don't know who I am? I am Naruto Uzamaki, the future Hokage of this village! Believe it!"

Well, good luck to the village. 

".....so what's the length of race going to be?" 

"Here to the Academy!" Naruto yelled. "On your mark, get set, go!" He took off speeding down the road, leaving me in the dust. 

I, on the other hand, blinked twice before walking down the street as if I hadn't met Naruto. 

Oh wait, that's right. 

I never said that I accepted the challenge, so there's no point racing. Oh well. 

Fifteen minutes later, I reached the school grounds to see Naruto panting on his back. I walked up to him and squatted at his side. 

"I--beat--you!" The blond panted, his smile bright and wide. 

I reached over to poke his forehead. "Good for you. Now come on. Let's go." 

I headed towards the classroom, but Naruto ran off, probably to cause another minor ruckus. 

Soon, Iruka Sensei arrived at the classroom, smiling friendly at us all. "Good morning! Let's begin class, shall we?" 

Then, of course, Naruto was dragged back to class, and finally, Iruka Sensei started announcing names of project partners. 

"Sasuke and Jolin, would you please come up?" Iruka Sensei called on us, looking at us both. Oh look. Sensei remembers me. Yay. 

"Did you look through the stuff I wrote?" I whispered to Sasuke as we headed towards the front. 

"Yeah, I think we have everything." 

"Can you do the talking? I'll do the graphs and illustrations," I said. 

"Sure." We set up our graphs on the easel, and Sasuke began our presentation. 

In the end, Sasuke and I earned A's for the project, and I just went through the rest of the school day as usual. 

By the time I left the Academy, I suddenly felt a wave of nausea hit my body. 

"No--!" I gasped out, shakily running towards the nearest alleyway. However, I hadn't even reached the hiding spot, when I vomited my lunch right in the streets. The very smell of my not-so-well-digested food sent my senses over the edge, and I spilled another load of whatever was in my stomach. 

"Nugh," I whimpered, crawling into the dark alleyway. "It hurts so bad....." My stomach churned nonstop, my head throbbed painfully, and my body wouldn't stop trembling. 

These symptoms were side effects of not being able to kill. If I don't feed my inner self the enjoyment of killing people, I would face the physical consequences. Not so badly I would die, but bad enough that I would want to die. I craved for the sight of blood being splattered everywhere. I needed for blood to be shed. 

Although, I didn't expect it to happen so quick. After all, the last time I killed was only a week--

No, it's because it has been a week already.

I had grown soft by reuniting with my father. I had grown weak by meeting people on a social basis. I had lost my control over my inner self. 

But what could I do? What my father say? What would Konoha do to me? 

I shuddered and curled up in a ball, wrapping my arms around my knees as my body shook violently and uncontrollably. I couldn't stand, let alone return home. 

All I could do was wait for the symptoms to pass. However, it may take up hours for them to leave. Also, they could raise their levels of intensity unpredictably. 

Finally, if I didn't satisfy my needs and wants, my inner self would take control and.....

I buried my face into my knees, doing my best to block out the fresh scent of passerbys on the streets. 

.....kill someone and be unable to stop myself from doing so.