Trust Me (An Islamic Love Story)

Chapter 16 *Churiyah function special*

After an hour or so, Jana and Sana fall asleep. I stay in their room and try to sleep, but all my efforts go in vain. I try my best to distract myself from thoughts related to him and fill myself with other fears instead; like the fear of Azar Hussain.

I don't really understand what I feel towards Azar. Sometimes, it's pure disgust. Sometimes it is an annoyance but most of the time — if not all of the time— I feel safe around him, especially when trying to forget about my past. Whenever Azar is present with me, no matter how harsh his words are, I still end up feeling safe. And this is wrong, totally wrong. Both he and Azar are my enemies. Azar is an amateur, and he is not, but that changes almost nothing.

I will never let Azar know my demons. If he does get to know, he will surely use it against me. He will try to hurt me, and I don't want to give him any reason to do so.

All the things Azar does make no sense to me; all his hatred seems pointless. What did I ever do to him? I even apologized for no reason. But then, I never did anything to deserve what I got from him either.

"Angel, you can lie to me all you want, but you can't lie to yourself, we both know, you deserve the pain," his voice echoes in my head. "But even though you don't deserve the honor to be marked by me, Ra-"

"Abeer, you are still awake?" My thoughts are interrupted by Maliha, who is standing at the door.

Seeing her freshens the wounds her words had made a few hours ago. "I couldn't sleep," is all I say, and I am about to turn away from her, but she gestures at me to come outside. I push aside my feelings and do so.

"I am sorry, Abeer," she apologizes as soon as we are outside the room. She comes forward to envelop me in a hug, but I move back with instinct.

"It is okay, Maliha," I assure her, forcing a convincing smile. "You know... I'm not comfortable with hugs."

"Sorry, I was so overwhelmed that I forgot about it," she replies apologetically. "I am really sorry, Abeer. I don't know what got over me. We are sisters, and we are meant to share everything happily. And I love you a lot, Abeer," she says, turning pink slightly when I look at her with surprise. "I don't say it because sisters aren't supposed to say things like that, but I really do. I admire your strength. Your problem is way bigger and more serious than my petty complaints about having our wedding on the same day. And maybe your university was better for me than studying abroad. Allah knows the Best."

My heart softens a little. Maliha did, after all, sacrifice her comforts for me, and even though her words still sting when I remember them, it is my fault, in reality, to expect perfection from a human. "It is okay, Maliha. I get your point. I would have felt the same if I were in your shoes." I wish I was in your shoes. I wish. "If you want, I will talk to Pops about moving my Nikkah one day ahead."

"No, no," she refuses. "It is completely fine. I was being stupid. I was just feeling insecure about how everyone will call you prettier, but it will be wrong to compare us. We both are beautiful in our own ways."

"Maliha, don't worry, no one will call me pretty. Don't you remember my scars?" I say, unable to stop myself.

We both freeze when we hear someone clearing their throat. It's Wasim. Awkward... extremely awkward... Oh Allah.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop," Wasim says, but his tone clearly shows he is amused. "You are blocking my way."

"Sorry," Maliha and I mutter and move to one side.

It is Fajr time and everyone in the house —except the kids— wakes up for praying. Seeing everyone being so devoted to praying makes me feel so giddy.