Trust Me (An Islamic Love Story)

Chapter 38

I can hear my parents' accusations. I can hear him mocking me. I can hear him laughing at me. I can hear her laughing at me too. The voices muffle together, of my parents and his. They overwhelm me. I can't move. I can't speak. I can't fight back. I feel frozen. There is nothing in my power; nothing at all.

"You let me down, Abeer..."

I see tears in my father's eyes. "How can I call you my daughter?"

"I told you no one can help you, angel; not even your Allah!" Raheesh yells and laughs.

Please stop... Allah... I need Your Help...

"People don't always make the right choices." Maliha's words come uninvited.

"It is not my fault. I can't stop those nightmares. I can't." The desperation, the hopelessness in my tone still disgraces me.

"That's the worst part," I hear her say. "That it isn't your fault. I wish it was."

I turn to my right and wince as it puts pressure on my arm.

"The scars are a reminder for you, angel." I can see him leaning on the dresser, tracing his finger lightly over his blade. "Whenever you see them, I will flash right before your eyes... so even if I am not there with you, I am still there with you."

I recite:

"Auzubillahi minishaitaan nir rajeem." I say under my breath repeatedly and lie down on my back.

I think of Azar's words as I play with the ring. "I made you mine years ago, angel; this ring is a witness."

"You are mine, angel. You are special." I see Raheesh standing by the edge of the bed, his eyes as black as the night. "You are not normal. I chose you."

I close my eyes shut as I mumble Allah's names I know under my breath.

"Abeer, I give you a chance to accept your mistake...."

"Accept my mistake? I made no such mistake..."

"Then I'm sorry to say, we are done, Abeer," Madiha's voice echoes in the room.

"Admit your mistake, Abeer. Stop pretending. We know now." My mother appears near the window, tears rolling down her cheeks. "We know what you did."

"I let my Maliha suffer," I see Mom now, shouting at me, disappointment flashing in her eyes. "I let her sacrifice her dreams for Abeer, but the truth is your own blood is never the same as someone else's."

"How could you be so selfish, Abeer...?" Zaina asks me. "Even after what happened to you... Didn't you learn a lesson, learn from your mistakes?"

"You keep in that little brain of yours that I loathe you, Abeer Irfan! If for one second you thought else, then you are pathetically mistaken!" I feel as if I am back at school. I try to stay in the present and try my best to stay awake, but suddenly, I am in a flashback. I can almost feel Azar's tight grip on my arms as he yells at me. "I don't care about you! The reason why I bear your presence is that I want to ruin you!"

I sit up, breaking away finally from the float-ish nightmares. I pour myself a glass of water. Don't think about it. Don't think about them. Think about something nice.

I see myself in the mirror, and Azar's words come to me.

"Look at you, Abeer, and look at me. You know you should be grateful that such a handsome guy like me is ready to marry... well you. I stand by what I had said before. You don't need a veil to keep men away; you'll do fine without it too." The words make me nauseous, and I tear away my gaze from my reflection. Does Azar really mean his apology? Does his sorry erase the things he said?