The One Without Words

❀ chapter thirty-one | where's anika? ❀

And so began Jack and I's birthday road trip. I never expected to hear German opera music in my life, but it sounded from the speakers now—courtesy of Jack. The unfamiliar rhythm and words I didn't understand filled the car, intensifying the silence between us.

"So," I said as I drove. "How was it with your family earlier?"

He didn't respond. Only stared out the window, the rose I'd given him still in his hand.

"They were really okay with you coming on a hike this late? My family was actually happy I'm spending my birthday with you. Talia even let me borrow the car."

Again, no response. Not even a smile or a wince. Everything about him... as stoic and blank as Anika Clark.

I was used to his silence, but I couldn't read him at all. I had no clue about the thoughts that were inevitably racing through his head. Racing... He'd had a meltdown at the race with Seth, Eli, and the frat boys I thought had wrecked my shop until Penelope showed up to take the spotlight. He, like now, had been completely still. Blank. Frozen like the blankets of snow covering everything as the altitude increased.

For a moment, I zoned out and watched the scenery. The forested mountains that'd remain unchanging long after I was gone. Even now, snow was still a new sight to me. Nothing like the mountains I'd known in Hawai'i, where you could climb so high and instead of snow, saw the endless, sparkling ocean all around you.

I wondered how much snow Jack had seen in Germany. Were there mountains there, too? I knew jack shit—pun intended—about European geography. And in our silence, for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to ask. We pulled apart like the two mountains on either side of the road.

"Jack," I said, bringing myself back to reality. "Honestly, you didn't have to come."

Silence again. A silence I wasn't sure would end this time. He didn't even pull out his phone.

I sighed. "You're kind of reckless, you know that? But later on if you get mad at me, don't act like I forced you here."

So much for our birthday celebration. Why did Jack come if he was going to act like this? Was he here to be my babysitter so I wouldn't get myself into trouble? I didn't even want him to if he wasn't going to have fun while he was at it. But then again, Jack's idea of fun consisted of getting drunk in his room and talking about rocks.

Not even the scenery made me feel better. Feel... since when had I gotten so used to that?

An hour passed. An excruciating silence in which I detached from my body and paid attention only to the road ahead, ignoring the unnatural feeling in the back of my throat. No. No crying. Not over something like this. Not over Jack. Not on my birthday.

Finally, we arrived at the trailhead, which was located pretty far up in the mountains. Trees covered the epic view, and we'd have to make the hike up to see it.

A layer of snow covered the deserted parking lot. People rarely went hiking this time of year. I wasn't sure if the park itself was closed. My shoes would get wet. I hadn't fully prepared at all. Except for the pepper spray in my pocket.

And my fingers as they typed out the text:

To Sociopath #2:

I'm here.

A little exclamation mark appeared by the text.

Failed to send.

❀     ❀     ❀

A normal hike. A normal birthday. The easy trail lined with barren trees, covered with white in a picture-perfect winter wonderland. Fluffy snow crushed under my feet. Good thing it hadn't turned to ice yet, though my shoes were definitely getting wet. The higher altitude led to a sharp drop in temperature, but at least Jack and I came prepared for that with hooded jackets.