The Woods (Original)

The Fear of Falling Apart

The motorcycle boomed down the quiet streets of our small town. She turned down the road that the old bridge was on, I've been down this road so many times. I was wondering where she could be taking me, I practically knew this road by heart. Suddenly she made a sharp turn to the right and I let out a small scream of surprise.
"Where are we going?" I yelled over the loud motor of the bike.
"You'll see!" She replied.
I noticed we were on no marked road but we seemed to be traveling on a trail through the grass, probably made by Petra's motorcycle itself. Eventually the motor got quieter as she slowed down and the bike came to a halt. She shut the engine off, and lifted her leg off one side and joined it with the other.
"Come on," she said.
"Lead the way," I said as I followed her.
We walked across the large grassy field until finally she stopped in front of a pond. She looked down at it and I drifted my gaze towards it too.
"Wow," I said as I stared into it. The pond captured the stars above, making it look like it had its own galaxy trapped inside.
"Stunning, isn't it?" She said as she began to lay down in the grass.
"Yeah," I said as I laid down beside her.
"I come here a lot as a sort of getaway," she started. "It really helps me clear my mind."
"Yeah, it's really calming," I said. Nature always had that effect on me.
"So, tell me, what made you want to come to that party in the first place?" She asked me.
I rubbed the back of my neck, "Honestly... I have no clue. Axel and I haven't hung out in so long, I thought for once it would be just the two of us- like old times. Every since he and Olivia started dating I've felt so left out..." I started to trail off.
"Is that why you were at the basketball game by yourself?" She asked.
"Yeah..." I admitted. "We all three used to go together and have a fun time, and I had already bought my ticket and didn't want to waste my money so I made the terrible decision of going without them."
"Why did you keep changing seats? Was it the crowd?" She asked.
"Yeah... So many people kept flooding in there, I began to panic. I didn't know what to do."
"Is that what social anxiety does?" She asked.
   "Yes," I replied. "It's awful. Every since I was a kid I've always had this shyness... It's only gotten worse as I've gotten older. It's different for everyone but for me I feel like... I feel like my chest is too small and I can't get enough air in my lungs. I start shaking and sweating, my whole body gets hot, like I'm engulfed in flames. I feel like I'm falling apart... And that makes me freak out more."
"Hey," she said as she touched my shoulder, "you'll never be alone, ok? Any time you feel like you might lose it, just call me. I'll talk you through it. We'll get through this together," she reassured me.
I turned my head and met her hazel gaze, "Thank you," I said. We laid there under the stars, shoulder to shoulder for while, her head leaning against mine.
   The last thing I remember is looking for constellations with her, our hands accidentally grazing each other now and then.
When I woke up I was in a daze. "Where am I?" I said out loud as I sat up and began collecting my thoughts. I looked down to see a sleeping beauty next to me ever so peacefully, and I remembered everything. The party, my near panic attack, meeting Petra, coming here. I looked down at the clock on my phone, "Crap. 2:53." I looked back down at Petra. I almost didn't want to wake her up. I remembered how we laid in the grass shoulder to shoulder, I guess I really do make a good pillow, because we both dozed off.
"Mom is going to kill me..." I thought.
"Hey," I whispered as I gently shook her, "Petra, wake up," and her eyes began to flutter open.
"Oh no... Did I fall asleep?" She asked groggily.
"Yeah, I did too. Crap, my mom is gonna kill me."
"What time is it?"
"About 2:53."
"My dad shouldn't be too mad... He knows how long Aiden's parties last."
"My mom doesn't even know I went out," I admitted.
"We better get you home," she said. We both stood up and stretched our arms and legs then made our way to her chopper bike. The engine started with a quiet roar. "Where do you live?" She turned around to say to me.
   "Not too far from here. Just go down this road and after you cross the old bridge take the first right, my house is down that long dirt road on top of the hill," I directed her.
   "Ok, got it," she said as the took off. She followed my directions, and soon we arrived at my house. She shut her engine off, I got off her bike and turned around to say my words of parting.
   "Thank you," I said. "Again," I chuckled.
   "Don't mention it. I'll see you tomorrow?" She said with a smile.
   "Yeah, sure," I said smiling in return. There was a twinkle in her coffee brown eyes as she started her engine back up.
   "Be careful," I said.
   She looked back up at me, "Don't worry, I will. Thank you though, no one has ever seemed to really care... Except my dad of course," she said and she extended her arm out. I walked over to her and she wrapped her arm around my neck, and I, in turn, wrapped mine around her torso. I was taken by surprise that she actually embraced me.
   "Hey, what are friends for?" I said as we both pulled away from each other.
    "See you tomorrow Jones," she said with a smile and chuckle. And with that she backed out of my driveway and her engine purred down the road. I watched her drive, her crimson hair flowing in the wind like a wild flame.
   I groaned as I realized I would have to deal with the wrath of my mom. Dreadfully, I made my way to the door and opened it slowly, trying to make it more quiet but only making the creaking inevitably worse. As cautiously and quietly as I could, I walked into the house, looking each way before taking another step. My mom wasn't in the kitchen or the living room. Then it hit me.
   I walked to Mom's room and just as I suspected she was passed out drunk on her bed and probably never even noticed I wasn't home when she came in. I made my way to my room and changed into some athletic shorts to sleep in. My house was usually pretty warm so I never bothered to sleep with a shirt on.
   I laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Just then I heard trotting paw steps come into my room and Reuben jumped onto my bed, resting his head on my chest as he laid down with me. I stroked his soft head and continued to stare at the ceiling.
   "Come on. Just sleep."
   I knew now that I would never get any more sleep. "Insomnia you always find the worst moments to trap me in your nightmare," I thought to myself.