Vorfreude // Jake Riley

Chapter 4

When in quarantine time seemed to move differently. Each minute could feel like an hour or each hour could feel like a minute. I tried to distract myself, I had counted the number of ceiling and how many inches it would take to get to the door from the bed.

However after 24 hours I still wasn't showing symptoms which I expected Cannerts to acknowledge.

"I'm fine come on let me out." I banged against the glass now as I was entirely sick of this room. Someone in a hazmat suit came in, took samples, and inspected every inch of my body.

"Alright let her out." Cannerts had been watching and he opened the door then. I burst out of the room as fast as I could. It took a lot of strength not to kiss the floor.

"It just doesn't make sense the blood was everywhere I would have thought you would have at least inhaled it." He handed me a mask as he spoke.

"Yeah well I'm just glad to be alive Doc, let's call it a miracle." I patted his shoulder and walked past him. I didn't know how I didn't get sick but at this moment that wasn't on my mind. I was heading straight for my mom.

Jake had visited once during my quarantine to check up on me and I just smiled at him to convey some sort of positivity. Now I was sprinting full speed down the stairs and the hallway to my mothers room.

I knocked on the door in urgency and whispered some prayers for Jake to hurry. Soon enough he opened the door and I burst in to sit by my mother.

"My love I'm afraid I don't have too much time left." She coughed up blood as she said it, I realized she was infected. I didn't know how but at this point it didn't matter I needed to be with her.

"Mom you promised me at least two more books." I whispered it and tears were starting to form as I held her hand. I didn't care much for protocol and since I had a mask and gloves on I was willing to take the risk. 

"I know but you will just have to read them for me. Take care of yourself, you always forget to do that. I'm proud of darling and I will always be here for you." She was saying her goodbyes but I didn't want to listen. This couldn't be goodbye.

"Mom-"

"Don't forget what I said about men in uniform." She interrupted me and nodded towards the door. Jake had left the room after I sat by my mom. A thought crossed my mind, she doesn't want me to be alone. I wasn't close with my sister anymore and if my mother was gone I really didn't have anyone I could turn to in times of need. She wanted Jake to be that for me, which didn't make sense at all but I wasn't going to tell her that. Instead I said.

"I love you mom, goodbye." She mouthed, I love you too, back to me and closed her eyes. I had to leave then, run as fast and far away as possible. I left the room and slid down the wall of the hallway.

I stared at the wall for the longest time not knowing what to do but then a horrible wave of emotion overcame me and I wanted to throw up, sob, and destroy something all at the same time. I settled for making an awful guttural noise that was a sob and scream at the same time. I cried for two minutes until I got angry, so angry I could feel my fists shaking.

I was about to rip one of the nurses' heads off but I ran straight into someone. Why was it that one of us was always pissed off? Jake saw my face and I glared at him trying to force him out of the way.

"Whatever you're about to do won't make you feel better."

"You sure about that? Because I'm pretty pissed and if I don't find someone responsible."

"What are you going to do? Whoever infected her is probably gone too and soon if not already their family will want the same thing you want and end up at the same point." I didn't want to listen to his logic. I didn't want to listen to anything. All I wanted was the empty feeling inside of me to be filled. I wanted my mother to tell me she was going to be okay. I wanted to be as far away from Atlanta as I could.

"She can't be gone, she was supposed to die peacefully not-" Another sob escaped my mouth and Jake did the best he could to comfort me. That meant a small squeeze of my shoulder.

He didn't know what to say to make it better, because there truly wasn't anything. She was gone.

+++
"Jake who's the first person you want to see when you get out?" It had been a couple of hours since I stopped crying. Jake and I now sat in the hallway facing each other with our legs parallel to each other, of course we weren't touching but it was comforting to have someone close by.

"Probably my buddy Lex, that's about it." I raised my eyebrow silently imploring him to give more information. I knew of his buddy lex but not the lack of important people in his life.

"My mom passed away when I was younger and I can't seem to get too close to anyone. It's not easy for me to open up I guess."

"I relate I suppose it's not exactly easy explaining my past to people. I don't think I have anybody in Atlanta my sister kind of hates me."

"I don't see how anyone could." This made me smile for the first time in what felt like ages. Maybe he had done it out of pity or maybe he actually meant it, but for whatever reason it made me forget for a second. And that was more than enough.

A/n: I'm so tired but I love writing this fic and you guys are crazy supportive so I'm gonna keep writing it
Sorry if there are a lot of grammar mistakes I'm too lazy to reread goodnight and don't forget to vote, comment, and share X.