Love, Lucy

PS I Love You

Dear Lucy, 

     So it seems as though my uber glorious, set to be legendary senior year is turning out to be a bust. I'm drowning in homework, horrible teachers... they don't exactly show this kind of stuff in movies do they? The fact that senior year is more then parties and lacrosse games. The majority is anxiety, stress - you know, the works. 

But I am going to a party tonight, its at Sam Parkers lake house. You remember him right? I think I even remembering you having a crush on him in eighth grade. Anyways he's still pretty attractive, a good guy but he's dating Adrianna French who's equally as perfect. I haven't been up to the lake house since that summer and would you believe me if I said I'm nervous about going back? I remember Sam's lake house was across the lake from yours and it's just... it's a lot you know? I keep trying to think what you would be doing about the party tonight if you were here. I feel like we would be getting ready with Ade and Fi, dressing in the most ridiculous of clothing and even more ridiculous shoes. They invited me to get ready with them but I turned them down. I don't know about what it is but I just I feel so weird about stuff like that. It's not that I feel like I'm betraying you by having other friends its just that... you're my best friend and well, I miss you. 

Mom's doing good, working her butt off as per usual at the hospital. It feels like she is coming home later and later though and I guess I'm just tired of coming home to an empty house. 

I miss you, and I know I've said that already but I feel like if I say it enough it might bring you back. Ridiculous, I know because you're dead - you aren't coming back but Lucy god... I just feel so broken. I'm trying really hard but sometimes I feel like I'm going back to that place and I don't want to. I want to get better but sometimes, sometimes its just so hard. 

I miss you. 

Love, 
    Regan. 

                                                                                                   ~ 

As I walked to the cemetery that Friday after school, clutching my letter to Lucy tightly against my chest a series of soft winds blew by, sweeping the crisp freshly fallen across the grounds. 

Brenden was supposed to pick me up for the party at seven, that way we would be there by eight at the latest. The drive up to Sam's lake house wasn't very long, maybe forty five minutes if the cottage country traffic was light. It was my understanding that Sam, Phoebe, Ade and a few other guys would be staying overnight, and we were invited also, but I turned them down. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy the group of friends I had, it just... it felt so incredibly weird sometimes. Like if I laugh at a joke Fi says or let Ade do my makeup at a sleepover it reminded me like a slap in the face that that was the kind of thing Lucy and I would be doing. 

Except Lucy's dead. 

Approaching the cemetery, I hugged my cardigan tightly to my body as a cool gust of wind blew by. It was only September but the weather in Washington State seemed to always be cold this time of year. 

As I reached Lucy's grave, the familiar headstone met my field of view. But it wasn't the grave itself that caught my attention. 

It was the manilla envelope laying on top of it that did. 

Usually my letters disappeared each time I came, typically swept away by the overnight winds. And I hadn't laid my last letter on the actual grave, I always put them in front of it on the ground. 

Quickening my pace I reached the grave in two strides and snatched the envelope from the grave the realization hitting me like a bus that this wasn't mine. Written on the back of the letter in clear and elegant black ink was my name. 

It was like I could feel my heart almost stop with the clear and utter shock of the situation. I did not recognize the handwriting and it wasn't... 

Its not Lucy I had to remind myself. And you're crazy if you think it is. 

And of course it wasn't Lucy that was impossible - but then, who was it?

In one swift motion I tore open the envelope and pulled out the paper that laid within and began to read. 

Dear Regan, 

   My little brother Ronan died five years ago of Leukemia - he was only six years old. 

And I know this is weird and you are probably extremely freaked out about the fact that I'm writing to you. But I also know that there is a good chance that this letter won't ever get to you. So I figured I would take a risk and write to you anyways. 

You have been writing to your friend for three years now, and each of these letters mysteriously disappeared every time you came back. And the reason well, it's me. 

The first time I found your letter I wasn't going to read it. But then I found another and another. Until finally I couldn't help myself and opened the letter. One by one I've consumed myself in each tear stained letter, they were almost like a drug, I couldn't help myself. You were broken, it was - is the only way to describe it. But I'm broken too. The universe has screwed us both over but I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone, and you don't have to walk this journey by yourself. 

Write back to me please, I think we can help each other. 

     Sincerelly, 
           T. 

A/N

Alrighty so it's a bit of a short chapter but oh well, it was more of an intro to T anyways. I really don't have much to say in this note only that I'm exhausted and bored and schools kicking my butt so... yeah that's it. 

Dedicated to leigh_ because to this day Vanilla remains one of my all time favourite Wattpad novels.

Oh also can someone tell me if Uber is actually a word or just something the PLL fandom uses/a cab but not actually a cab trend?