Love, Lucy

Stutter

"Are you okay?" 

Those were the first words that left Brenden's mouth that night as I climbed into his car and slammed the door harshly behind me. 

It was a simple question really, an easy three letter sentence that any sane person would answer easily in a yes or no format. But if you haven't noticed yet, I was most definitely not a sane person. 

And I was most definitely not okay. 

For the last four hours, confusion had been swirling in and around my mind. Scattering every emotion possible in my brain. I was angry and humiliated that a stranger had been reading my private letters to my best friend. I was sad because for a moment I thought by some miracle it was Lucy. I was curious because I wanted to know who it could be. But most of all I was conflicted, by the ever appearing question stamped into my mind. 

Should I write back? 

But for now the only question I needed to answer was Brendens. So I forced a smile, nodded my head and replied with a "Yes - let's go." 

Sam's cottage was located on Okapogen Lake, a massive water source nestled deep within a lusciously green forest. I had been to Okapogen Lake over a billion time, Lucy's family lake house I remember was located directly across the lake from Sam's so as we drove the route I could recognize every landmark we passed. 

"How long has it been since you've been here?" Brenden asked me a good twenty minutes into the drive. 

Although Brenden knew everything and anything about the last three years and Lucy it still remained exceedingly rare for him to bring it up. It wasn't that I didn't like talking about her, I loved talking about Lucy. Reminiscing about summers at the malt shoppe and her lake house were my favourite things to do. 

But I also didn't like to show vulnerability, something Brenden knew perfectly well. I didn't like crying in front of people and never in all my years of knowing Brenden has he ever seen me cry. And even though I was not broken, even though I did not cry every time I talked about her, Brenden didn't want to risk it and frankly neither did I. 

But still, I shrugged my shoulders and answered his question. 

"Three years." Three years, he knew what that meant. 

"Are you... are you going to be alright?" He questioned as we turned down a road leading into the dense Okapogen forest. 

I nodded my head, turning my gaze back out to the window to stare at the blake sea of trees in the moonlight, signalling the end of the conversation. 

We arrived back at the lake house not long after and even from the inside of the car we could hear the music blaring. I seemed every light was on inside the house and through the windows we could see the odd person moving around in the kitchen. But the real party was on the lake. 

As we stepped out of the car and began moving around the house to where the dock was, I was able to see more. There was a massive bonfire on the grass, radiating heat into the surprisingly chilly September night. 

I could see a keg on the wide range dock that floated out onto the lake and even a ping pong table was set up for beer pong. 

Wesley Abernath - one of Brenden's teammates who was pretty decent was currently in the midst of a keg stand with the help of Alec Hummel, one of the more douchier teammates. 

Beer pong was currently inhabited by Drew Cole and Lucas Wilson, with their girls of the week by their sides drunkenly cheering them on. 

But Brenden and I made a beeline over to the fire where the host for the evening Sam was sitting with his girlfriend on him lap and Fi right beside him.