Blurred (book 1)

42.

{Stephanie's POV}

Since last night I've been looking through messages with some of my friends, so I can try to remember a bit faster. I went through messages with Steven, Dylan, and Andrew. I know Steven and Dylan, but who's Andrew? I think I'm going to look at my messages with Raudel and Ashlynn today. Since I seem to talk to them the most.

First, I should get dressed. I jump in the shower do my stuff. Then I get my under clothes on and look for a shirt and pants to wear. I decide on a simple black crop top and ripped skinny jeans. I put on my all white vans and head out the door. I decided to walk. It's not so close but exercise is good.

I start going through my messages with Raudel. Wow, me and him had some great conversations. Funny ones too. And... What? No...

"Steph you okay?" I hear Raudel. "Why did you lie to me?!" I can't help but yell. "What?" He says clearly confused. "You said we were just friends, best friends but best friends don't talk like this!" I yell again and show him my phone. "I'm leaving. After the school year ends I'm leaving. I didn't want to hurt you so I lied." He tells me. "This whole time. I thought we were just friends but we dating. We are technically still dating!" I can't help but to continue yelling at him. "Please calm down. Stephanie, I didn't lie to hurt you, I lied to protect you. If you didn't know we dated it wouldn't hurt you as much when I left." He says. "But you lied to me Raudel. That hurt me. Now reading all of our messages. How I love you so much. That you're the love of my life and I'm the love of your life." I say. "I'm sorry. But all of the messages are true. And for me they still are. That's why I can't always be around you. It hurts me that you don't remember all the time we spent together. Or any of the things we've been through." He tries to explain himself. "I'm happy I don't remember." I say and walk away. That sadly isn't the truth, I so desperately want to remember! I just can't.

I walk to the quad and see Steven and Ashlynn. "Hey Ash." I say. "Why have you been crying?" She asks. "I read my texts. With Steven, Dylan, Andrew and Raudel." I say. "Oh, what'd you find out?" She asks. "That Steven was an asshole for a bit, Dylan is madly in love with you, Andrew is some guy I met a few weeks or a month ago." I say. "And Raudel? What'd you find out?" She asks. "I found out that he was my boyfriend. And that he lied to me and said we were just friends. And that the love of my life is leaving in two weeks." I say and tears start to roll down my cheeks. "Steph are you okay? You're crying?" Ash asks me. Everything. Rushes back all at once. Raudel was my first kiss, he confessed his love when I was supposed to leave, he's always been there for me. The naps we took together, our dates, hanging out at school, getting in trouble in class. All of it just came back. "Stephanie?" Ash asks. "I remember. Everything." I say. "Wait what?!" Her and Steven yell in unison. "I remember everything. I remember when me you Dylan and Raudel played spin the bottle at my house. I remember your birthday party. I remember everything!" I say. "That's amazing! We have to tell Raudel!" Ash yells excitedly. "What if he's still mad at me? I wasn't really nice this morning when I saw him." I confess. "It's you! He'll be thrilled." She says. "I'll text him for you." She adds. A few minutes later her phone buzzed. "He said, she doesn't care anymore, why should I. I'm on my way to Mexico now so it doesn't matter. Bye Ash, you're a great friend. Thanks. Love you." Her face dropped and she was frowning. I caused that. "What did you tell him this morning?!" Ash yells at me. Then the bell rings first period.

I walk into class and yup, Raudel isn't here. He isn't going to sit next to me. He's gone. "Ms.Hernandez, where is Mr.Viramontes?" Mr.Lange asks me. "He no longer attends this school." I say. "Nonsense, where is he?" He asks. "Mexico. Or the plane to Mexico. I'm not completely sure, I did have amnesia for the past few weeks." I say annoyed. "Watch your tone, now class..." After that all I heard was blah blah blah. I miss him. I need him.

All day Ashlynn's been trying to talk to Raudel. He hasn't answered one message. He's gone and for real this time. He might not even come back. I decide to text Raudel myself.

Steph: I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry. I remember everything now and I'm stupid for letting you leave. I love you Raudel Viramontes, forever.

I didn't expect a reply but my phone buzzed and it was him.

Raudel: I love you too Stephanie Yazmine Hernandez, forever

Tears roll down my cheeks. At least I know he still loves me the way I love him. For now and always.

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I feel like this was a terrible last chapter but it's time to let her first love go and for her to grow. I'll begin working on Explicit soon. Thanks for reading guys!! Love you all very much♥️♥️