Losing Her Wings

Chapter 35

After Joachim’s accident, Skylar couldn’t feel the same again. It felt as though she had a toxin inside her blood that made her feel sick to the core but unable to do anything about it. She had done this terrible thing. She had put the situations together and there was no way she could complain about it to anyone. She had foolishly accepted the consequences. It was too late for regrets, it was done now, all she had to do was accept that she wouldn’t allow it to happen again. She had given in to her weakness and allowed Ryan to stay with her, it wasn’t right. When the sun came up the next morning, more than a few people wound find themselves in complicated situations…and it was Skylar’s fault. The burden on her job was too much to bear but what could she do? Nothing. She had gone through this argument a million times before. She had no choice.

For a start, she had only complicated her already difficult relationship with Ryan further with her request for him to stay with her during the night. He had taken really good care of her, staying with her and holding her when she cried; she felt so guilty that he had taken such care with her when he had blatantly admitted that he was going to, once again, give her time alone without feeling like there was some kind of tension between them. It was the most anyone had ever done for her in her entire life and she appreciated him and loved him more than she could tell him but he was right, she had to get to grips with what she was being asked to do. With what she had to do in order to make her job work to its best advantage. There were so many things she had to do that she couldn’t possibly explain to Ryan and she could never even go through her plans with anyone to make sure she was making the right decisions. It was all up to her and there was no-one to second guess her plan of action. It was a little frightening that it could all go so easily wrong. But then, that was life. It went wrong all the time and she should know that better than anyone else, having spent so long watching the world from the best seat in the world.

Skylar had to adopt a new mentality…she had to believe that what didn’t kill her made her stronger. She had to understand that she had gone through worse than some of her charges and she was strong enough to guide them all in the right direction, to improve their lives. She was the one in charge, she had to start acting like she knew what she was doing. After all, she had powers they knew nothing about. She had influence and friends they would literally die to have. She couldn’t let any of them get hurt or suffer just because she still considered herself a child. She was not. She was a grown woman; she was an angel…she had better start acting it.

If other people wanted to ruin their lives with silly choice and rash decisions then it was her job to intervene so that they didn’t complete destroy their lives. That was what she was there for. Now, she had to figure out how to fix what had happened. Joachim would, thankfully, take care of himself now that she had kept him safe and made sure that he didn’t die in his stupid racing car. Eliza would be ecstatically happy that he was alive and wouldn’t need anything more than that. They were officially sorted. Now it was everyone else’s turn. And Skylar thought it was time to turn up the heat. She had been complacent for far too long, standing on the sidelines sure that everything would work out. But if everything had been planned to just work out, there would have been no need for her to be there when she could continue watching over them and guiding them from home. It was time for drastic action and if she had to force sense into their thick skulls, she would do it.

Skylar no longer cared about her life and how she felt. That could remain at the back of her head, while she tried to pretend that those thoughts didn’t exist. Her head had to be focused, from that moment on, on her charges. She had lost her way and Joachim had almost died. It was time to rectify that mistake and take charge of her life and actions once more. She was just a little surprised that Link hadn’t already intervened to tell her what a mess she was making of everything, but then she supposed that he had better things to do than baby-sit her…and she had been a baby. But no longer. The last thing she wanted was word getting round, back home, that she was entirely useless and couldn’t be trusted to have charges of her own any more. What would she do with herself then? She would never be able to watch over Ryan and make sure he was safe…she wouldn’t know if her work had made a change or not…all the pain and suffering would have been for nothing. And she wouldn’t allow it. Skylar had to toughen up, and to start that she made a few choice decisions that could change everything.