Trip to Your Heart - A Hockey Fanfiction

Some of Them Want to Get Used By You

I dialed Sid's number when I got in the car and it rang before going to voicemail. "Shit," I cursed, scrolling and calling Geno's phone. He didn't answer either, and that didn't bode well. I dialed Beau, and he answered groggily, "Hello?"

"Beau? It's Stella. Are you guys still at the hotel?" I asked.

"Yeah, we don't leave until noon, why?" He was still half asleep.

"I'm on my way, what happened at the game last night?" I demanded as I turned on to the main road.

"We won, what happened to you?" He asked, sounding more awake.

"It doesn't matter. Who got hurt?"

"There were a couple fights..." Beau was nervous now.

"Who, Beau? Who?" I implored.

He sighed, "Sid, Geno, and Bortz."

A cry of pain escaped my lips and nothing had even happened to me. Sid, Geno, and Robert. This was all my fault. If I hadn't let Claude see me upset, if he hadn't known how close I was with them, they would be fine.

"Stella? Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, I'm fine. Are they...?"

"I'll meet you in the lobby," Beau hung up and my heart was in my throat. Something must be very wrong if he couldn't tell me on the phone. The streets of Philly were flying by as I raced to the hotel. I didn't want to think about what could have happened to them, but I couldn't help it. Sidney, hit hard, concussed again, and rendered unable to play. Evgeni, boarded, and out for the season. And Robert, I tried to erase the images of him, bloody and bruised, lying on the ice and in my arms, for this would not be the first time it had happened.

I whipped into a parking spot and sprinted into the lobby. Beau was disheveled, sitting in a chair with a paper cup full of coffee. He handed me a second cup when I walked up and led me to the elevator. "They weren't hurt seriously enough to go to the hospital, but they're all passed out right now. We should let them rest. Come on, I'll take you to my room, my girlfriend went out to breakfast with some of the other wives and girlfriends; they took the kids with them," Beau assured me.

I nodded, following him in silence. He unlocked the door and he let me inside. I sat in a chair and sipped my coffee, some of my worry had subsided, but not all of it. Beau smiled sympathetically and sat opposite me.

"We were surprised when you didn't come to the game yesterday. What happened?" Beau asked, tentative. He didn't want to set me off, but he was worried.

"I-I ran. To a bar. I don't know how much I drank, but I couldn't handle the truth of everything. I know it was irresponsible, but I didn't know what else to do," I explained, hanging my head.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm sure we would've done the same thing," Beau smiled, patting my shoulder.

"Thanks, Beau," my lips twitched up into a pathetic excuse for a smile, more of a grimace, really. I felt guilty for what I'd done, running, keeping secrets, feeling things that I shouldn't. But those feelings, the ones I'd been pushing down, were bubbling near the surface. I could feel my curiosity coursing through my veins, and desire tensing in my stomach and my heart, making it hard to breathe. I should feel guilty, Claude was at home where I'd left him and I was here, waiting to see a man I'd said was my friend, but I wasn't so sure if that was how I saw him anymore.

And what state was he in? We hadn't spoken much for weeks before yesterday. He was probably mad at me. I had rejected him and hadn't called him before then. Then he hadn't spoken when I called, even if he had answered. But with everything he'd said yesterday, maybe he still felt what he'd claimed to feel when I had left Pittsburgh five years earlier.